Thursday, February 7, 2013
5 Things Spoiling Your Sex Life
Is your hot and steamy love life feeling more lukewarm these days? You might think you're doing everything right, but there are sneaky sensual snafus that could be destroying your sex life. While most of them are easily fixed or avoided, you need to identify where you went (or are going) wrong. These five things could be ruining your sex life, so sit down, read up and get ready to light that fire once again.
1. Getting Grossed Out - Let's face it - the human body doesn't always produce the sexiest smells, areas of hair or secretions. If you flinch at the hint of a little B.O. down there, an untrimmed bikini line or the thought of bodily fluids touching you anywhere, you could be turning your partner off, or even worse, offending him or her. There are a few ways you can overcome the "ick" factor - only have intercourse in or right after a shower, turn the lights off to avoid looking at things you don't like and keep plenty of towels or tissues on hand for liquid mishaps. Remember, sex is messy, so you should work on embracing the fact that you're going to get sweaty, squished and crumpled, and move on
2. Being Afraid to Experiment - Instead of laughing in his or her face the next time your partner suggests a sexy cowgirl getup or edible underwear, give it a try. You could find it silly, but it may increase the pleasure your partner experiences and rejecting him or her could kill the mood. Unless it's something you morally object to or might cause you harm, go for it. Who knows -- you might even discover that being "Nurse Kiki" is your thing.
3. Not Knowing What You Want - If you don't know what buttons to push or what gets you in mood, it can be nearly impossible for your partner to do so. If you have a hard time reaching orgasm, spend some time solo exploring yourself and experimenting with toys to learn what works for you. Pay attention during sex and take a mental note of what moves or positions you like best and what you dislike. Plan a lesson for your dude and see if he does his homework.
4. Being Embarrassed - What woman hasn't almost screamed in horror when looking at her thighs in the mirror, or had an absolute mental breakdown when passing gas in front of someone? When these things happen in the bedroom, it can feel like the end of the world. It's important to realize that once men turn on their sex-brain, very little can turn it off. They are so focused on wanting you and getting down to the dirty deed that they're unlikely to be fazed or even notice that little jiggle under your arm or that you forgot to do laundry and are wearing your granny panties. Sometimes the human body will get the best of you, and your period will start early or you may let out a noise closer to a "moo" than a moan. Laugh it off instead of freaking out, and your man will too. If you're so focused on what he could notice, you won't be able to enjoy the task at hand.
5. Falling Into a Boring Routine - Do you have a standing calendar appointment for getting naughty? While it's important to make time in your schedules for sex, arranging a set day and time for it is one of the quickest ways to squash your sex life. Not only is it boring, but you also may find that you aren't in the mood at that time or have to "cancel" your appointment and wait a whole week for the opportunity again. Come home early from work and greet your partner at the door in lingerie or arrange for a sexy night out. Anything out of the ordinary, even if it may seem simple, can pump up the pleasure factor.
Dress Turns Clear When You're Turned On
A Netherlands-based fashion designer has created a high-tech dress line that turns clear when you get excited. How's that for being transparent on a date?
Called Intimacy — from designer Daan Roosegaarde, founder of Studio Roosegaarde — the project aims to explore the relationship between technology and the body's interactions. The dresses, which are called 'Intimacy White' and 'Intimacy Black,' are made out of opaque smart e-foils. When the body gets excited and the heart races, the coils turn clear.
The smart foils have a blend of wireless technology, LED lights, cooper and other materials. "Social interactions determine the garmentsʼ level of transparency, creating a sensual play of disclosure," the company says on its site.
Although the concept isn't entirely new — the company has been working on prototypes since 2010 — its new 2.0 line has been making its rounds online in advance of Valentine's Day. The dresses are currently on display privately in Hong Kong and Paris and will be shown at Kent State University in Ohio in September.
Will you be able to get your hands on a dress like this in the future? "The next line will be available for a wider audience," a spokesperson told Mashable.
Studio Roosegaarde also has other high-tech garments in mind: "We're currently working on a suit for men which becomes transparent when they lie."
Would you wear an outfit that changes colors based on your feelings and actions? Let us know in the comments below.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
JUST OPEN YOUR EYES
A man was exploring caves by the seashore. In one of the caves he found a canvas bag with a bunch of hardened clay balls. It was like someone had rolled clay balls and left them out in the sun to bake. They didn't look like much, but they intrigued the man so he took the bag out of the cave with him.
As he strolled along the beach, he would throw the clay balls one at a time out into the ocean as far as he could. He thought little about it until he dropped one of the balls and it cracked open on a rock. Inside was a beautiful, precious stone.
Excited the man started breaking open the remaining clay balls. Each contained a similar treasure.
He found thousands of dollars worth of jewels in the 20 or so clay balls he had left. Then it struck him. He had been on the beach a long time. He had thrown maybe 50 or 60 of the clay balls with their hidden treasure into the ocean waves. Instead of thousands of dollars in treasure, he could have taken home tens of thousands, but he just threw it away.
It's like that with people. We look at someone, maybe even ourselves, and we see the external clay vessel. It doesn't look like much from the outside. It isn't always beautiful or sparkling so we discount it. We see that person as less important than someone more beautiful or stylish or well known or wealthy. But we have not taken the time to find the treasure hidden inside that person by God.
There is a treasure in each and every one of us. If we take the time to get to know that person, and if we ask God to show us that person the way He sees them, then the clay begins to peel away and the brilliant gem begins to shine forth.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
British parliament approves same-sex marriage
British legislators have approved gay marriage despite fierce opposition from members of Prime Minister David Cameron's Conservative party.
Members of the House of Commons - the lower House - voted on Tuesday by 400 to 175 to approve the draft law allowing same-sex couples to marry in England and Wales.
The move puts Britain on track to join the ten countries that allow same-sex couples to marry, but Cameron had the embarrassment of seeing more than half of his Conservative legislators refusing to back him.
Just 127 of 303 Conservatives voted in favour of the plans, with 136 voting against and 40 more either formally abstaining or not voting.
"Strong views exist on both sides but I believe MPs voting for gay people being able to marry too, is a step forward for our country," Cameron wrote on his Twitter page after the vote.
The government-proposed bill would enable gay couples to get married in both civil and religious ceremonies, provided that the religious institutions consent.
The vote was warmly welcomed by Cameron's junior coalition partners, the Liberal Democrats, and by the opposition Labour party, while gay rights group Stonewall called the result "a truly historic step forward".
Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg, the Liberal Democrats leader, called the result a "landmark for equality".
"Tonight's vote shows parliament is very strongly in favour of equal marriage," he said. "Marriage is about love and commitment, and it should no longer be denied to people just because they are gay."
Currently, same-sex couples only have the option of a civil partnership, which offers the same legal rights and protections on issues such as inheritance, pensions, and child maintenance.
'Morally wrong'
During a debate that lasted more than six hours, many Conservative MPs denounced the legislation, saying it was morally wrong, not a public priority, and unnecessarily divisive.
Conservative lawmaker Gerald Howarth told parliament that the government had no mandate to push through a "massive social and cultural change".
Culture Secretary Maria Miller, the minister responsible for the legislation, insisted the bill would protect religious freedoms and "not marginalise those who believe marriage should be between a man and a woman".
The Church of England, the country's official faith, is barred from performing such ceremonies.
That provision aims to ensure that the Church, which opposes gay marriage, is protected from legal claims that as the official state religion it must marry anyone who requests it.
The bill must next be scrutinised by a committee of legislators and then go before the upper chamber the House of Lords before becoming law.
While a majority of people in Britain back gay marriage, polls show that Cameron's strong support for the issue could undermine his party's chances at the next general election in 2015.
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10 Mistakes Men Make in Relationships
We all know that relationships can be tough. They begin with an awkward dating period where both persons are on their best behavior. After a few months, those curtains start to unravel and you begin to see shadows of the real person.
Men often make a number of relationship blunders during these crucial initial phases, and we're here to help you recognize the ten worst ones. If you're just getting started in a relationship, or part of a long-term affair, get pen and paper. (Or, you could just print it!). You'll want to keep track of these tips.
Giving a woman too much power.
Guys usually get into trouble when they allow a woman to have too much (if not all) of the control in a relationship. She decides when you go out; she decides when you have sex; she decides which friends you can keep; and may even decide what color slacks you should wear to a party.
These types of scenarios are classic examples of a man believing that he doesn't deserve to be with a certain type of woman, or that he is in no position to make decisions on his own. If you're a good man and deserve a good woman -- you deserve a good relationship. Swinging the power surge closer to a 50-50 deal would be more beneficial for you. An even platform feels a whole lot better than a 80-20 deal -- and you can't afford to be on the 20 end of the spectrum.
Trying to invoke too much of your own control.
Even though it is not recommended that you relinquish complete control of your relationship to the lady in your life, you also should not hoard it all for yourself. Power struggles can create a competitive environment, and there is no place for competition in a relationship. Truth be told, most people like some level of control in their lives and this includes relationships with significant others.
You should definitely try to work within respectable levels when it comes to control. Whether it's your heavy-handed decision-making or a demanding attitude -- women don't like controlling men and a controlling guy reeks of insecurity.
Believing that the good you do today will last until tomorrow.
Women have short memories. Flowers and candy mean that you love her today -- but tomorrow is a new day and a new chance for you to prove your love all over again. A man tends to linger on his good motives and can't understand it when his sweetie throws a hissy-fit while wearing the new dress he bought just three days ago.
Being a good boy scout doesn't mean you are no longer obligated to do your chores. Keep doing the things you know are necessary for relationship success. Women appreciate good deeds, but they appreciate continuous good deeds even more.
Being domineering or overly possessive.
If your mate tells you that she likes possessive, egotistical, iron-fisted dictators - then you're in for the perfect relationship -- (If your name is Joseph Stalin). However, most women can't handle the jealous types and no woman wants to be told what to do.
Biblical principles tell us that a man should lead. However, this duty assignment calls for an enormous amount of responsibility and maturity. A man should never believe that his mate is beneath him spiritually, or emotionally - and relationship bonds should not turn women into possessions.
Allowing family members or friends to dictate what happens in the relationship.
This is an absolute NO-NO. If you are married and allow your in-laws to have any measure of control over your relationship, you are undoubtedly treading on paper-thin ice.
Your wife should not be subjected to this either. Even if she allows you to take a bossy tone with her, she most certainly doesn't appreciate it coming from your mama; your aunts; your cousins; or anyone else in your family. Women don't like being told what to do (see Mistake #4), and it irks them even more when it's coming from another woman.
You should not allow your wife's family to make decisions that directly affect your relationship. Everybody has an opinion, but it's the couple's opinions that matter most. Outside opinions or ideas shouldn't be used to influence your relationship bond.
Always kissing up.
She's your beautiful queen. A sugar-dumplin', honey-spiced, chocolate bunny pie. But she's also a human being. Which means if she commands respect, she also has the ability to return it.
Some people deserve respect simply because they exist:
a) Your mother - because she's a woman and ushered your nappy-head into the world.
b) Women in general - because they're women and the Good Bible tells us that we're supposed to be respectful of the female entity.
Outside of this basic level of respect, all other respect is earned. Don't be so apologetic (unless you've really screwed up); don't assume that she's always right; and don't take the blame for something that isn't your fault.
More importantly, don't place your lady on such a high pedestal that she forgets where the ground is. A truly level-headed sista wouldn't want to be that high, and may eventually resent being in a relationship with a big pushover.
Complacency.
If you are not exactly where you want to be in your life (financially, academically, or spiritually) -- it's okay. Women tend to focus more on the future, so you shouldn't worry about having the world in your palm when you first meet.
Over time, most women will expect to see some progress and eventually some results. Try not to sit idle as life passes you by. Even if you're not the biggest fish in the pond, being tenacious and goal-oriented is all any woman could ask for. If she's asking for more, you might want to reconsider who you're with.
Choosing a woman based on appearance alone.
This is really dangerous, but all men know that it is difficult to look past the sexiness.
Physical attraction is extremely important, and men sometimes forget to investigate the other critical attributes they desire in a woman. Since we are from the 'Planet of Imagery', male judgment is often clouded in the beginning of a relationship. A man's interest in physical compatibility may keep him from thinking about those other crucial attributes until it's too late.
Don't forget about essential qualities like compassion, compatibility, and whether or not she makes any sense when she speaks.
Placing someone (anyone) or something before your mate.
This includes friends, relatives (See Mistake #5), co-workers, animals, your car, or your hobbies.
Granted, there will be times when you would like to hang with the boys, or occasions when you have extra work to do on some new project. But those things should never hold more meaning than your relationship. When a woman feels that someone or something is more important than she is, you may have problems getting her to respond to anything you have to say.
Yielding to temptation from other women.
For some odd reason, women are frequently more attracted to men who are attached or already married. This isn't a good thing if you're in a strong relationship and have a weakness for lust. Your wife or girlfriend isn't stupid -- she knows that you can't help but look at other women from time to time. But that's as far as it goes.
If the tempter is cognizant of the situation and isn't a woman of good moral character -- (and she likely isn't since she's obviously seeking to tempt), she may not care about disrupting your relationship -- especially if she knows you're interested in stepping out of line.
Be vigilant when this happens. It takes a lot of patience and integrity to go against the grain. Being tempted is natural -- yielding to it is stupid.
12 Relationship Truths We Often Forget
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It’s easy to make your relationships more complicated than
they are. Here are twelve simple reminders to help you keep them on
course.
- All successful relationships require some work. – They don’t just happen, or maintain themselves. They exist and thrive when the parties involved take the risk of sharing what it is that’s going on in their minds and hearts. Open communication and honesty is the key.
- There is a purpose for everyone you meet. – Some people will test you, some will use you, and some will teach you; but most importantly some will bring out the best in you. Learn to see and accept the differences between these people, and carry on accordingly.
- Most of the time you get what you put in. – If you want love, give love. If you want friends, be friendly. If you’d like to feel understood, try being more understanding. It’s a simple practice that works.
- You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot in someone’s life. – Never force someone to make a space in their life for you, because if they know your worth, they will create one for you.
- Forgiving others helps YOU. – Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” Forgiveness is the answer. It doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting what happened. It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with your life.
- We all change, and that’s okay. – Our needs change with time. When someone says, “You’ve changed,” it’s not always a bad thing. Sometimes it just means you stopped living your life their way. Don’t apologize for it. Instead, be open and sincere, explain how you feel, and keep doing what you know in your heart is right.
- You are in full control of your own happiness. – If your relationship with yourself isn’t working, don’t expect your other relationships to be any different. Nobody else in this world can make you happy. It’s something you have to do on your own. And you have to create your own happiness first before you can share it with someone else. If you feel that it’s your partner’s fault, think again, and look within yourself to find out what piece is missing. Your partner can never ‘complete’ you because you are already whole. The longing for completion that you feel inside comes from being out of touch with who you are.
- You can’t change people; they can only change themselves. – Instead of trying to change others, give them your support and lead by example. If there’s a specific behavior someone you love has that you’re hoping disappears over time, it probably won’t. If you really need them to change something, be honest and put all the cards on the table so this person knows what you need them to do.
- You are better off without some people. – When you have to start compromising yourself and your morals for the people around you, it’s probably time to change the people around you. If someone continuously mistreats you or pushes you in the wrong direction, have enough respect for yourself to walk away from them. It may hurt for a little while, but it’ll be ok. You’ll be ok, and far better off in the long run.
- Heated arguments are a waste of time. – The less time you spend arguing with the people who hurt you, the more time you’ll have to love the people who love you. And if you happen to find yourself arguing with someone you love, don’t let your anger get the best of you. Give yourself some time to calm down and then gently discuss the situation.
- Small gestures of kindness go a long way. – Honor your important relationships in some way every chance you get. Every day you have the opportunity to make your relationship sweeter and deeper by making small gesture to show your appreciation and affection. Remember, making one person smile can change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. Your kindness and gratitude matters.
- Even the best relationships don’t last forever. – People don’t live forever. Appreciate what you have, who loves you and who cares for you. You’ll never know how much they mean to you until the day they are no longer beside you. And remember, just because something doesn’t last forever, doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth your while.
7 Inappropriate Habits Of Unhappy People
Even if you are generally a happy person, take a look at these seven habits to determine if any of them are keeping you from experiencing greater amounts of joy.
1. Playing it too safe.
Don’t play it so safe that you put yourself in situations where none of your potential options satisfy your calling. Dream your dream, but also realize that you are more than just the dreamer, you are the point of origin for your dream’s reality.
Your dream is your creative vision for your future life. You must break out of your current comfort zone and become comfortable with the unfamiliar. Start smashing through those emotional barriers. Move forward. Life doesn’t magically give you what you want in your mind; it gives you what you insist upon with your actions.
2. Continuous self doubt.
You will inevitably become who you believe yourself to be.
If you spend enough time saying, “I’m not smart enough, thin enough and rich enough,” it’s likely that you will someday be right. On the contrary, if you have the belief that you are smart enough, thin enough and rich enough now to take the next positive step forward, over time you will likely acquire the capacity to be these very things at your desired level of expectation.
3. Obsession with control.
Sometimes people put too much interest into trying to control every tiny aspect of their lives. Learn to let go, relax and ride the path that life takes you. Try something new, take a chance, but above all, smile and enjoy the scenery.
Freeing yourself from trying to control the insignificant things lets you experience more of the good stuff around you. The greatest joys in life are often the unexpected surprises that arrive when you are flexible and open to life’s twists and turns.
4. Slacking on exercise.
You DO have enough time to exercise. If you say otherwise, you’re lying to yourself. The truth is you don’t have time not to, or sooner or later you’ll be making time for illness.
At least 30 minutes of exercise every day has been proven on countless occasions by countless medical studies to increase the strength, happiness and longevity of human lives. You’re talking about three and a half hours a week. That’s hardly seems an excessive amount of time considering the tremendous benefits in terms of the impact on the remaining 164.5 hours of the week.
5. Setting unrealistic expectations.
You won’t drop two jean sizes overnight. Your relationships won’t grow without your attention. You can’t pay off $30K in debt in a week. Your new business venture won’t instantly turn a profit.
You’re going to make mistakes every now and then. You will go a day or two when you feel like you’re running in place. You’re going to try new techniques and they’re not always going to work. You’re a human being. You’re going to fail from time to time. But that’s how you grow. Worthwhile goals take work and persistence.
6. A bad attitude.
The greatest discovery you will ever make is that you can change your life by simply changing your attitude. Optimism is the most essential human trait, because it allows you to evolve your ideas and improve every situation you encounter.
So don’t take things for granted. Be positive and realize how fortunate you are. Not every day will be perfect, but if you pay attention you’ll realize that 99.9% of the time you’re having either a good day or a great day.
7. Overindulgence of a good thing.
As Oscar Wilde once said, “Everything in moderation, including moderation.”
Eating too much makes you fat. Spending too much money makes you broke. Working too much leaves your family at home missing you. Playing too much leaves important work undone… And so on and so forth.
Happiness depends on the balancing act of applying your positive resources equally to the hungry deficits in your life. All details aside, the important thing to remember is this: Long-term happiness is never found in one good thing; it is a combination, it is a balanced lifestyle.
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