More Spice to Your Relationship Tonight!

So, your love life isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Don’t freak out. Listen, people think that trying to save a failing relationship is really difficult and involves a lot of heart-wrenching conversations about “what things mean” and “how to process your feelings” but the cold hard truth about a lot of relationship advice is that more often than not it solves nothing. We’re an overly verbal culture and shows like Dr. Phil et al convince us that all problems can be resolved through deep meaningful talks. Spoiler alert: they don’t.

Sure they may work on The Vampire Diaries (or whatever guilty pleasure TV drama you shame watch) but when you’re dealing with a non un-dead heterosexual male, they tend to fall flat. No, that’s not because men think differently but because, let’s be honest, deep, meaningful talks are kind of a buzzkill, Especially if you’re dating the strong and silent type. You’ll yammer on and on about feelings and all he’ll feel is bad, or bored. If you really want to save your love life tonight what you need to do is really relatively simple.

Make Some Sexy Food

You can go with chocolate dipped strawberries, your partner’s favorite comfort food, even breakfast for dinner! Whatever works just make sure it’s something you both like that isn’t going to leave you bloated and sleepy afterwards. Not sexy.

Put on Sleepwear That Doesn’t Look Like Your Grandma’s.

This is pretty simple, it doesn’t have to be the naughtiest of Victoria’s Secrets but something that makes you look hot. If all else fails, go for something black and lacy.

Have A (Little) Drink.

I’m not advocating getting smashed here people, because drunk sex, like drunk karaoke is never as good as you though it was. Also: loud and off key. But if you haven’t seduced your partner in a while, a bit of ‘liquid courage’ could help ease the awkwardness.

Massage.

Let’s face it, we’re all pretty tense these days. Ease your partner’s muscles and mind with the ultimate foreplay. Pro tip: get some nice smelling massage oil, it makes the whole thing feel amazing.

Pounce.

Okay, it’s game time. No more preparation just go for the gold. Grab your partner and get on down to make them remember why you started dating in the first place. Yes, we’re talking a good old ‘super-lay’ so bust out those moves you save for special occasions. Go get ‘em tiger, kick that love life into high-gear!



***This patent-pending system is guaranteed to work (if you werk it). So don’t think about it, pounce on your man tonight and show him what he’s been missing***



Then tell him to make you a sammich. Seduction is a lot of work.