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5 Reasons Why Modern Women Have Affairs !!!!!!!

There can be little other news that is more devastating to man, than to discover that his wife has cheated on him and has been having an affair with another man. The very thought of another man séxually penetrating his wife, or his wife enthusiastically giving oral séx to her new lover can make the jilted husband feel sick to the stomach for days, even weeks on end.
Unfortunately, an increasing number of men have been contacting us here at The Modern Man, trying to seek answers to the questions, “Why did my wife have an affair? Why did she cheat on me? What causes women to have affairs? What did I do so wrong to deserve it? ” So, I’m going to share my advice here in a dedicated article on why women have affairs.

The Rules of the Game Have Changed

Relationships are not like how they used to be in the early 1900s or even a few decades ago, for that matter. Today’s women are constantly being bombarded with TV sitcoms and Hollywood movies telling them that if they are unhappy, they should get a divorce or have an affair. Unlike in the past, a woman isn’t surrounded by a society that is telling her, or even forcing her to remain married no matter what. A woman in 1900 for example, would feel like the “scum of the Earth” for committing such a disloyal act as having an affair. However, when it comes to women of today’s generation, unless her man is able to create and maintain the right relationship dynamic, she will often act on what she believes to be valid reasons for an affair and she will feel fairly comfortable doing it.

At The Modern Man, we believe that if you get married, you should stay married. Marriage isn’t something you “try,” it’s something you do for real. It’s for keeps. If there are problems in your relationship, you should work to fix them rather than giving up. In our opinion, affairs are never justifiable. If a relationship is unrecoverable and you absolutely have to break up, both people should, out of common decency, maturity and respect for each other, wait until that is done before they find someone new. However, to avoid an affair or break up even happening in the first place, here at The Modern Man we teach men how to create and maintain the right relationship dynamic, so affairs never become “necessary” for a woman. It is much easier to avoid an affair occurring in the first place, than to try and save a devastated relationship after one has happened.

Here are some of the reasons why a woman will want to have an affair behind her husband’s back.

Reason One: Arguments That Don’t Lead to Change

When arguments become on-going between you and rarely a day passes without some degree of emotional upset in your relationship, a woman is going to start thinking of why she puts up with it. Women of past generations had to put up with it and try to work through it, even if the husband responded badly and his behavior got worse as a result. These days, if a man isn’t being the perfect man like the ones depicted in TV sitcoms and movies, it has unfortunately become socially acceptable for a woman to leave, or worse, have an affair behind his back.

Men who are successful in their relationships with women do not throw their hands up in the air in the face of an argument or blame the woman for all the arguing. When faced with a problem in life, a real man faces it head on and figures out how to fix it. Things are not always going to run smoothly in a relationship every hour and every day, but couples in successful relationships get through rough patches by facing problems and looking for ways to fix them, not running away and hiding from them. As a man, it’s your job to take the lead on fixing the problem. If you don’t know how to fix it, learn.

Why do the arguments happen in the first place? Read this article, “Why Am I Always Arguing With My Girlfriend?” to understand what leads a woman to start arguments with you and how to turn them into an opportunity to deepen your love, attraction and respect for each other, rather than pushing you further apart.

Reason Two: She Doesn’t Feel Sexy Around You Anymore

There are some very sneaky men out there who prey on married women and women in long term relationships. They live by the old old saying, “Show me a beautiful woman in a long-term relationship and I’ll show you a man who is bored of having séx with her.” To protect your relationship against these opportunistic men, you need to ensure that your woman feels increasingly sexy around you. Most men are able to make their woman feel séxy during the initial part of the relationship, where there is plenty of romance and natural lust. However, as they progress through the stages of a relationship, they are clueless as to how to retain that or build on it.

In The Modern Relationship, I explain the secrets to not only maintaining the degree to which your woman feels sexy around you, but how to increase it. When your woman feels sexy around you, she is going to be more open to sex and to doing “sexual favors” for you, if you know what I mean. Making her feel sexy and sexually confident around you, also means that she will continually make an effort to look good for you. You’ll find that she wears sexier clothes, makes more of an effort to stay in shape and is generally much more fun to have sex with.

Reason Three: Bad Séx or Lack of Séx

Once again, most guys are able to please their woman fairly well during the initial stages of a relationship. However, once familiarity has set in and they fail to increase the degree to which a woman feels séxy around them, the séx can become boring and predictable. The secret to avoiding this is to make your woman see you as her “séx god,” so to speak. To her, no other man is necessary because to be séxed by you touches her and satisfies her on the deepest levels of her being.

Now, don’t get me wrong here. I’m not talking about spending loads of hours on tantric séx, or any other “Sensitive New Age Guy” rubbish like that. I’m talking about deeply penetrating your woman’s body and mind as you have sex with her, without needing to spend time on foreplay or doing unnecessary things like dressing up and role playing. You don’t need any of that when you know how to deeply penetrate her body and mind during séx. It doesn’t matter if you do it for 5 minutes or 30 minutes; when you séx a woman right, she will be the best girl you’ve ever had in your life. You tell her to make you a coffee and she will jump at the opportunity to please you. Tell her to give you oral séx while you watch TV and she will feel LUCKY to be doing it.

However, if the séx is boring or if there is a lack of pleasurable séx, modern women (especially those who watch TV sitcoms that glamorize affairs and divorce, rather than condemning it) will often start thinking that maybe an “exciting affair” will liven up their life again. Unfortunately, when a woman consults with her friends, they will often encourage it and even help make it happen. The best strategy to protect your relationship in the modern world, is to become the type of man that women desperately want to be with. You can no longer just be an “okay option” or maintain a boring, séxless relationship. If the woman isn’t feeling fulfilled, she is more likely to have affair or just up and leave you.

So, how do you create the right relationship dynamic and how do you penetrate a woman’s body AND mind during séx? It’s about being a masculine man, being present and making her feel like a feminine woman. Watch Better Than a Bad Boy to learn how. When you have séx with women in the way I suggest, you will be amazed at how much good treatment you’ve been missing out on from women. The truth is, a woman WANTS to be in a position in the relationship where she feels lucky to be having séx with you. If you don’t give her that gift and make her feel lucky like that, you’re leaving her wide open to being preyed on by men who seek out unhappy women for easy séx.

Reason Four: Lack of Excitement

One of the traits that women find most attractive in men is unpredictability. I’m not referring to wild unpredictability where you do crazy or dangerous things, I’m talking about interesting unpredictability where you are not boring! I teach guys how to be unpredictable when talking to women for the first time, on the phone and on dates in The Flow and I explain how to do it in a relationship in The Modern Relationship.

All relationships go through stages and there can be no doubt that the early stages of infatuation with one another make everything about the relationship feel extremely exciting. It can feel fun and exciting to be even sitting together on the couch, cuddled up and watching TV…but, after a while it will stop feeling fun if you don’t maintain and grow the love and attraction you feel for each other. As the relationship grows, the “love rush” of the early days is replaced with a different kind of emotional connection and this is when some women can slip into thinking that something is missing in the relationship. An affair is then used as a way of finding out if the something that’s missing can be found in someone else.

Reason Five: You’re Not Being a Man For Her

Let’s face it; if a woman is extremely happy in her relationship with her man, she’s not going to be interested in having an affair. Generally speaking, a woman will seek to have an affair when she isn’t happy and thinks that another man will provide the happiness she is lacking. As you may know, we are each responsible for our own feelings of happiness and shouldn’t solely rely on another person (or people) to make us happy. Much of it has to come from within, from our purpose in life, the love we share with others and our perception of the world around us. However, you can’t rely on a woman to know that and live by it. Your woman may think that happiness is found in a man, in buying shoes and in eating cake, who knows!

As a man, you need to take personal responsibility for the relationship you have with your woman. You can literally guide her into happiness, love and total surrender to you by being a man for her. The more of a man you are and the more you guide her into being a true, feminine woman, the happier both of you will be. These days, a lot of men unknowingly guide their women into depression, unhappiness and lack of desire because they simply don’t understand how to “be the man” in a relationship.

Men and Women Have Changed, But Are Still the Same

Although modern women have become more confident, independent and in a way, more masculine in their behavior and thinking due to entering the workforce and taking on bigger roles, changing attitudes in society and the after effects of the feminist movement – women still want you to be a man. Women are not the new men, they just have more voice, choice and freedom. Deep down, under the superficial layer of masculinity they have to put on to survive in the modern world, they are still just girls…and want to be treated that way behind closed doors.

These days, most men are unsure how to behave around the confident, new aged women and unfortunately, they end up looking to TV for the answers. However, when a modern man watches TV, he’ll often see TV commercials where husbands are depicted as clumsy, sex-starved idiots who are trying to do whatever they can to please their wife, who always seems to be on the verge of hitting him across the head with something. Why do they show this stuff on advertisements? Well, they can’t have men treating women that way, can they?

Companies advertising their products cannot depict women as wanting to be bent over the couch by their husband, as a reward for her doing the housework or cooking a good meal. Yet, the truth is, women do want to be in a position where they are rewarded for their good behavior. The better they behave and the more they please you, the more of your attention, love and sex they will get. That’s what women want. Yet, if you believe what you see on TV commercials, you’ll end up thinking that you will get more sex, love and respect from your woman if you do the housework and stay out of her way…or else she’ll get mad!

If you want to get a real education on how to be a man, watch Better Than a Bad Boy. Trying to learn how to be a man by watching TV sitcoms, Hollywood movies and the odd TV commercial is only going to cause you more confusion, frustration and problems now and in the long run. If you don’t want to invest years of your life and loads of your time and money into a relationship, only to have a woman turn around one day and say, “I need to tell you something. I’ve been having an affair. I am in love with another man” then get educated and enjoy a relationship the way it should be enjoyed. That being, where the love, respect and attraction you feel for each other GROWS rather than fades away into arguments, infidelity and divorce.

Should I tell my husband that my sister is actually my daughter

I currently live in the UK and I am married to the most loving guy that I can ever think of, trust me I have been around so I know the attribute of the word "most loving guy" though all is not perfect at the moment but the dilemma now is that I am stuck between my mother, myself, my husband and our four months old baby and I really think I have made a very serious mistake courtesy of mother and all her advice.

 I have known my husband for close to 12 years and of which have been married now for 2yrs. Unknowingly to my husband I had a baby for my secondary school love just after I finish my SS3 exams in Nigeria, and with the help of my mother we were able hide this from everyone apart from my immediate family because my then boyfriend denied the pregnancy and my mother did not want word to get out the her most precious teenage child has become pregnant.    

   To cut the long story short, I gave birth to my first baby girl in a very small town in one of my mothers numerous friend's village, and my mother flew me abroad shortly after, and my baby was given to an Orphanage home near Port Harcourt run by again one of my mother numerous friends.  Anyway, that was such a long time ago now cos I am now a hard working girl living in the United Kingdom with a very good job at a blue chip company, and my baby girl Uju who is almost 13yrs old was brought up at the orphanage until she was six years old, then my mother who had moved to Lagos return to PH, and adopted my little girl and even till today my little girl doesn't know her mother she think my mother is the God sent woman who rescued her from the Orphanage and she is a good girl, she lives with my mum in PH as my  junior sister and she calls me her elder sister.

    I forgot to add that a childhood history is very similar to this, through my childhood I think my mum had at least four husband or live in partners, I have four siblings and only the two eldest are apparently from the same father, and all our fathers abandoned us and do not want any thing to do with us even to this day after establishing contacts with them when we grew into adults, my mum says they were all bad men but now that I am much older I am beginning to doubt, she has always told us that our father absconded when they was no money but that was until she started telling us who our real father is, I only knew mine two years ago and I have made contacts but my real father is not interested at all, even to meet me or talk on the phone talkless of my mum, but my mum said that he has always been a bad man and that it is because she loved all of us that made her bring us up all alone by herself when all the men in her life left for dead.  

As I was saying, in my early childhood I also was sent to the orphanage till about the age of four years before I was brought to a new house with my mum and siblings and we were calling my mum "aunty" because she had told her current boyfriend/partner that we were her own younger siblings and she had lost her own parents and was charged with the responsibility of looking after all five of her younger brothers and sisters (three girls and two boys).  Things became OK for a while until my mum's boyfriend found out and accused also her infidelity, my mother's boyfriend who we used to call Uncle threw all of us in the street in the full glare and jeers of the whole neighborhood, that day remains one of the most embarrassing days of life till date.  

My eldest brother once told me that they have had to deal a lot more than myself in regards to my mum lies being found out that my own father whom I never really knew also threw all of us out the house because our mum was found out of the same lies and that was why I was sent to the orphanage because they were homeless at some time, and that half of the people I called my uncles then were actually our mum's sleeping partners and they (my elder sibblings, I am the last btw) used to hear when they were having sex with mum, and if they tried to confront her that mum used to beat the hell out of them and send them out to look for food and not return until they have money for food and school fees.  

The funny thing is that I have sat down and looked at my mother life and I do not want to have that kind of life, today my mother can be said to be very comfortable but I do not think she is very happy, I think she is very lonely and unhappy though knowing my mum she will never admit and its the same with all her numerous friends, they are all sad and unhappy with their current situation, some have been accused of their husband's death to take over properties, the others either their husbands have left and never returned or nonchalant to their well being, then with all their children being totally disrespectful to them, all having problems in their own lives, its either one is in jail in a faraway country or the other one has been jobless for ages or still no husband after countless suitors would come, have numerous failed marriages or its either one thing or the other and out of all my mothers children I am the only that seems to doing OK, and this is mainly because of my husband, he has always been there for me  from when I arrived in the UK every other person including my siblings agrees except my mum and she has always been trying to cause trouble between myself and my husband saying he is not good for me and that he is using me even after having a baby for him who is just four months old now, my mum is indirectly telling me to leave my husband of two years that me and my four months daughter will be better off without him and that I will have grave consequences in the future if I do not leave him on time that I will always find someone else that will love me more.

 Please readers tell what I should do, should I tell my husband that the little girl that I told him was my younger sister in Nigeria is my daughter or should I keep mute, please don't forget the first daughter does not yet know that I am her real mother. I know my husband very well and I think he will never forgive me nor will he forget and the way he acts sometimes makes me think he may already have had heard some of these stories about my mum because he has always been a very respectful person but now he doesn't have any single respect for mum and sometimes extends to myself, I know his trust for me has greatly diminished that makes me think he is still in this marriage only because of our four months old daughter, I am beginning to think he may be suspecting some things especially with my mum's background because its like he can see through my mum and I am also beginning to think that is the reason that my mum is trying to break us up before the truth comes out to save me from the kind of embarrassment she received the numerous times that she was found out.

My mum may be a lot of things but I still love her dearly and I think I will still always love her. 

I know telling my husband  this will greatly hurt him, but I don't want to hurt him that much also I don't want to lose him if he finds out or should I just enjoy while it lasts, last time I have similar situation like this was when I was in the university  but then we were just lovers, I cheated on him numerous times though he never caught me red handed but sometimes out of the blue he starts throwing hints here and there that only if he knew of my affairs that he would know of such things and I could not help but confessed to him, this damaged our relationship for a very long time and he was out of my life for a while then things returned to normal, he forgave me because he thought I told the whole truth and no secrets, he made me swear that I am not hiding anything else from him, the way he said it was almost like he knew about my past but I took a gamble and did not spill, he just smiled and said I love u then we got married shortly afterwards.

 He loves our baby girl so much that I am afraid the truth will deprive this young baby the enviable love of her father when the truth comes out, just like I myself lost out on my fathers affection due actions of my mother and I do not want this to continue to my daughter. Please honestly what should I do.

Best Christmas Present Ever - Some girls have no respect for themselves ...

What if Money didn't matter

Dear Readers What do I use to become tight again?

Hi , I need advise from fellow. I'm a single 30 year old girl. My ex boyfriend was really endowed. Sex with him was great and all. But we ended up breaking up. I started seeing someone else some few months ago and its getting serious. Problem is I think my ex has expanded me too much and now, my current boyfriend isn't as big, he's just average. I don't really feel him as I'm now too wide. Oral with him is great, but I feel really bad when he enters, as it makes me feel say na me bad pass(pardon my pidgin) Dear reader, kindly advice me on drugs, exercise, cream, whatever to use to become tight again. Someone advised me to sit over a bucket of very hot water, but I don't think its working. I'll really appreciate ur help.

Husband Leaves Wife Of 19 Years After Discovering She Was A Man

A Belgian husband has spoken of his 'horror' after learning his wife of 19 years used to be a man. The duped 64-year-old - named only as Jan - said he had 'no clue' his bride had been born a boy.

The shocking revelation only emerged after almost two decades of marriage when a cousin from his wife's native Indonesia finally exposed the truth. Jan told how he met 'Monica' in 1993 when she arrived in his home town of Antwerp as an au-pair to his sister's children.

He described as her 'very beautiful and feminine' - but said he now understood why she was 'no good at ironing'. Jan told Belgium's Nieuwsblad daily paper: 'My second marriage was on the rocks at the time and we quickly fell in love.
'I thought she was an attractive woman, and she was all woman - she had no male traits. 'She was 27 years old at the time, so I asked her if she wanted children. 'I was glad when she said she didn't as I was 44 and already had two of my own.  'Over the years she said she was taking the pill, and even during sex I never noticed anything, though now I understand why she always used a lubricant, which is apparently normal among transexuals.

 'She was always a good mother to my children, and also a fantastic cook, though we wasn't that great at cleaning and ironing - and now I know why!' But Jan said the relationship had begun to suffer over the past two years as she insisted on staying out late on her own wearing 'very revealing outfits' He added: 'She would wear tiny tops that revealed a lot of flesh and had more than 100 pairs of shoes. 'I also caught her ogling pictures of young men on the Internet.

'But I didn't suspect a thing until a cousin of hers came to visit and let something slip. 'I mentioned it to my son and he said he'd heard a rumour too that Monica used to be a man. 'One evening I confronted her and she finally confessed she had been born a boy and had a sex change operation.

 'My world collapsed in a few seconds. I was horrified. I feel like have been violated for almost 20 years.' The couple are still living under the same roof after a judge refused to grant Jan an order to evict her. But he added: 'We live in separate rooms and rarely speak. What Monica has done to me and my family is unforgivable. I just want her out of my life.' DailyMail

SEND ME BACK TO AFRICA! .

A Lady Almost Snatched My Husband With Séx; But I Got Him Back –Married Woman

I have been married for the past 9 yrs, I'm blessed with 3 kids (2boys and a girl) and I have the most amazing hubby... I'm trying to correct the notion that all marriages are wacky and all because that's not true. It wouldn't be nice if some single girls out there don't get to know that marriages can work if u make it happen. 

I got married 9yrs ago to my hubby, we dated for a year and got married.. 

My friends were like it was too soon since we barely know our selves, I was staying in Abuja while him in Lagos. I just come occasionally to visit him, so after a year, we figured it was time to move to the next level which was very amazing...

 We got married and I started living the life of a married woman.. 

  We loved each other so much but their were things we did not know about each other since it was long distance hence posed a problem for us..

 I had very bad mouth as of that time.. I do like to challenge everyone including him which he didn't like.. We argued a lot which ends up with several beatings..

  The first time my hubby hit me, I ran to my aunt's place and later went back home, it happened again and again, but the whole thing was after the beatings, he comes back to say sorry and to tell me how the things I said to him really did hurt and how he's hot tempered and I'm hot tempered and all... After a year, I told my self I had to work on my self, I stopped talking too much, prayed more often and asked God to help me with my temper, I stopped challenging him and always make him feel more than superior to me, like magic, the whole fighting stopped. 

I took in and gave birth to our twin boys the second year. I was so engrossed with taking care of the babies that I forgot to give my hubby the attention he deserved... When my babies were 5 month old, I went through my hubby's fone for the first time and I found out he was cheating on me.. The girl in question was supposed to be a family friend but she started sleeping with my husband..   I went thru the whole bbm chat and saw the way the girl started flirting with my hubby and how he tried to resist and how he finally fell for her tricks, I was mad, I was raged but at the same time I was determined to be calmed about the whole thing.. I didn't mention it to him when he came to pick up his fone cos I would have insulted him and said so many hurtful things to him, so I pretended like I saw nothing.. 

The next day, I started jogging with some neighbours, after 2weeks I got a treadmill and started using at home.. I was still running in the morning and using the treadmill at night.. After 3 months, I lost the whole baby fat coming back to 60kg which was my initial weight.. I didn't give up, I kept trying to look fit and everything..  One night, my hubby came to me saying we needed to talk, I was like hope there is no problem? He said there is! And I was like lemme hear it. He then opened up to me about his affairs with that girl.. 

Told me everything that happened, even went ahead to show me the whole chat and how he ended it with the girl and how she's still calling back and begging for more. Of course she was gonna beg for more,my hubby is well endowed and gifted(LoL). He was crying and apologising but I told him he shouldn't worry,that it was all my fault,I forgot about him and he saw attention some where else.. 

We made up and after 2 days,he got me a car out of guilt but I told him to stop worrying but I still liked the fact that he got me the car,it was my dream car.  We started enjoying our lives the way it was before; going to the movies, club, hanging out, I gave him all my attention. Even after I gave birth to my baby girl 3yrs later, he didn't cheat on me bcos I made sure I didn't stop been a mother, a wife, lover and friend. As usual, I started exercising again and went back to my body 4months after my baby was born. We were so blessed, work was going fine, home was fine.

  Now when I say "Home was fine" it didn't mean we were not quarreling, we were but I just made sure if I was gonna quarrel about anything, it was gonna be something worth it and I tried as much as possible not to be harsh or rude..   There was a time we quarrelled and couldn't reconcile immediately like usual and I went out to tell a male friend of mine not knowing that was the last thing I should be doing. The guy was advising me and I felt he was nice. 

One day, the same talk came up between me and my hubby, when we couldn't reconcile, I drove of to that guy's house.. He consoled me and started kissing me.. I was kissing him back and it suddenly dawned on me, he's not my husband, I couldn't do that to my hubby, I pushed him off and drove back home.  

I told my hubby he won and told him how I kissed someone else and he told me he understands, so we'd drop the case even if I was right, deleted the guy as a friend and worked on my marriage.. Since then,we don't stay mad at each other more than 10mins..My friends come to the house and they are like, I envy ur marriage, that we still act as newly weds and all, but what they don't know is its not easy getting ur family 2geda.  

  Its so hard been a friend, lover, best friend, mistress, mother, wife, sister all in one.. I'm from a broken home so I know what I and my sister went thru and I didn't want that for my kids.. So I had to fight to make my home work. I got married when I was 18 and right now 27, but when u see me I look 24, people never believe I'm 27 or a mother cos I made sure I kept my self looking good.. My hubby doesn't like the whole idea of wrapper or anything so I don't have one except for meetings. I dress in my bum shorts, mini skirts, short dresses, anything to keep me looking good 

                             So at this point I'm going to say, ladies: 

1. Marriage is not easy 

2. Don't go into marriage expecting so much 

3. Don't think ur marriage would not have problems, they will always have, what makes u a woman is the ability to handle it 

4. Make ur partner ur friend, best friend, lover, wife, mistress, mother, sister. With that, he can open up to u all the time 

5. Never loose urself because u are married, he loved what he saw that's why he married u, try not to go away from that 

6. Never share ur problems with anyone, u would get the wrong advice from people, handle ur problems within 

7. Do not argue with ur hubby, let him win if u see its gonna pose as a problem 

8. For ladies with sharp mouth, trim it, that's the one thing men hate, it took me time to learn, so please and please, never challenge ur hubby, cos it would make him feel he's not in control and men like feeling they are in control even when actually, its the women who are in control 

9. Talk to him all the time, appreciate anything he does and encourage him

 10. Don't forget to make God ur number one.. Don't joke with prayers, it never fails

"I Got Great Séx from A Guy Now I Want Him More Than My Husband" –Lady Seeks Help

I've been married for over three years now, am like every other married woman who is not so fulfilled with her marital life, i have never cheated on my husband before, i have tried to live my the book but it hasn't paid me well, i decided to turn around and taste what the other side of life is like, i haven't dated many men, i have always been the #goodytwoshoes#. 

My husband cheated on me just a few moths into our wedding, i forgave him, we moved on, he did it again and again, i am tired of hearing pray for him and let him be that he will turn a new leaf. I cannot be sharing my man with everyone, you claim to love someone yet you screw around. 

 

Maybe i need to get some action myself as well....

I hit the gym, toned my body (not like am fat) I am very much to behold, i am tall, beautiful, and i turn heads but i cannot dull, if he cant keep his thing down and derives pleasure in toiling with my emotions, na to look else where oh. 

 

Along the line at a social function i went, i met this awesome guy, he actually helped me out with my car because i had a flat tire, from there we exchanged complimentary cards, the first time i saw him, i just knew he was the one i wanted to explore with, he is sweet to a fault.

I gave him a few weeks, he did not call or keep in touch, so i found him on facebook and added him, we exchanged pins and started chatting constantly, he knew i was married, we chatted all through the day, he told me all about himself, his failed marriage, how he has been separated from the mother of his 6 year old son for 4 years, we talked about his business, he is fully loaded (RICH) he got so used to calling me that i had to warn him to stop cos am married that he should ping me first and find out if the environment is okay for a call. 

 

He told me so much things in a few days we started talking, i dint blame him, am a very warm person, understanding and ready to listen, i also told him about my predicament as well, and he said he was sorry about it and gave me this option: 'if the seat is too hot for you, walk out'. The thing is i am not ready to leave my husband because i still love him.

Back to the main gist 

We got so inseparable, so close, we talked all the time, i paid him a visit at his house and it was magical, i felt like a baby all over again, he had not had séx in a while, he ripped all my clothes off, gave me d head of life, licked me all over, turned me around and we had the most amazing and rewarding séx ever. 

 

It was fantastic, we skpyed all the time, had phone séx, sent unclad pics to each other, we looked forward to seeing each other again, but the problem is, ever sine he got inside me, he stopped communicating with me like before, i have him on bbm but he wont update, he just treats me like i don't exist.

Please help me what do i do? I want more of him, i got so fond of him, how can i start this all over again with him, how do i confront him, when i am having séx with my husband, i close my eyes and all i can see is him, all i can feel is him, all i can smell is him, i desire only him.

 

He has a girl friend abroad and i understand, i do not want to have a relationship with him, i just want to continue the steamy awkward affair.

WEDDING TEST

My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating 4 over a year and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger sister. 

My prospective 21 year old sister-in-law, always wore very tight miniskirts,and often times was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view.
One day her little sis called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived,and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. 
She told me that she wanted me just once b4 I get married and commit my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, I'm going upstairs to my room, and if u want one last wild fling, just come up and get me. 

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go upstairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and headed straight to the front door.

I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Loo and behold, my future family were standing outside, all clapping! 

With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said "We are very happy that you have passed our little test, We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter Welcome to the family"! 

I smiled and heaved a sigh of relief cos I was actually heading to the car to get my condoms before I passed their test. - From Dr Chukwuma C. Osaji.

For those who have done bad things & want to becom...

Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog: For those who have done bad things & want to becom...: Dear men, if your woman is over 25 and went to the University of Lagos, she's most likely not a virgin, so don't gawk yourself. Lol. Conti...

I’m F’ing a Married Woman

It all started about 2 years ago. I was out with my friends for a Nigerian Independence day gathering at a joint , when I spotted an extremely beautiful, bright skinned woman that has just walked in. She didn’t look like she was there to hang, but rather to get suya and leave. She wasn’t dressed in a flashy way, and pretty much looked like she had just strolled out of the house casually. I sat there observing her for a little while, and then one of my guys just said “Ole boy, enter the babe now, if u wan enter… no just dey there dey look.” I approached her, and after a short conversation we exchanged numbers and she dashed off as she said she was not supposed to be out for long. That was how I met Bose.

A couple of days later, we chatted on the phone, and exchanged a few text messages and eventually decided to meet up for drinks and suya at the same joint we met at. We chatted, gisted and just generally connected. We were so in tune with each other that I was beginning to really like her already, and then she told me something I wasn’t prepared for. That she had just recently separated from her husband, and was steal dealing with the overwhelming shock and social stigma of it. At 28, she explained that she was a mother of 2, with no husband. In her words, “not what I would’ve thought of the day I got married.” We continued our drinks, and after a while we were both pretty tipsy. I decided to drop her off at her place. The house was a big family size house, and I remember wondering if she just bought/rented it after the divorce or the ex-husband vacated the residence for her. It seemed a little odd to have such a nice place shortly after a divorce, but whatever. I walked her to the door, and was just going to settle for a hug, when all of sudden she grabbed me and began to kiss me, and before I knew what was happening we were rolling into her living room, undressing along the way, and baam… we were f**king on the couch. As weird as it felt, I loved every second of it. She did things that night, that I would never have thought she’d be so comfortable doing.  After cuddling and kissing for a little while, we both passed out on the cold marble floor.

Next morning, she wakes me up sharply and tells me I need to leave as her family members were coming, and so I quickly put on my clothes, and ran out of the house. She promised she would call me, but that I shouldn’t call her as she doesn’t want her family to think she is already dating again shortly after her separation. I agreed and let it be. Heck, I was still in pleasant shock from what transpired the night before and was ready to drop the gist to my padis asap.

Weeks passed and still no call from Bose, and after I sent a couple of text messages that received no reply, I decided to forget about her. I was at  the joint again one day to go get suya for some visitors at my place when I saw Bose again…. looking extra fine as always and with 2 young toddlers. I approached and she smiled and apologized for not calling me back, and said she would soonest. I definitely didn’t think I’ll be getting a text message less than an hour after we saw… “My family is still at my house… Can you meet me at Kabo Hotel in 2 hrs?” 2.5 hours later we were at the master suite in Kabo hotel having wild sex once again. Next morning I wake up alone, with a note by the bed, with Bose saying she had to get back home before everyone in the house woke up. At this point, I started suspecting that something fishy was up… that she might not be entirely honest about things, but I quickly buried that suspicion. After all she’s not my wife or girlfriend so I have no right to question her so to speak.

This random, and spontaneous sex-capades continued for about 6 months. I’d get a call or text from her and we’d hook up and f*ck. That’s what I call it, cos that is exactly what it was. Very little conversation for the most part, and I liked the thrill of it. Which guy wouldn’t like no-strings attached sex?

All seemed ok, until one day I was looking through a recently published Ovation magazine only to see a picture of Bose with a well built heavy looking man, and underneath, the caption read Chief & Mrs blah blah blah at the opening ceremony of some boutique that was recently opened. I tried to calculate in a way that it must’ve been before we met, but this boutique was opened a few months ago. She’s married. That little bug in me that told me something wasn’t right is actually a reality. A Big Reality. I sent her a text and demanded to know if she was married and without any extra explanation, she simply replied, “Yes, I am.” I was sooo disguted with myself and her that I swore not to see her again and immediately deleted her number.

A couple of weeks later, a call comes in and it’s Bose on the other line… she pleads with me and explains to me that they are trying to work it out, and after a couple of mins of talking tells me that she needs me, and as weak of a person that I am, I agreed to meet her at her place. Her husband was out of town on business. Another wild f**king session happened, and this time the house was empty so we explored every corner of the house. From the kitchen, to the living room, the master bedroom and in the jacuzzi. It was as if we were trying to get it in for the last time. Except that it wasn’t the last time.

The routine was back on, and we’d hook up and f**k at her convenience and seeing that I am single, I wasn’t feeling like I was cheating on anyone. The bad feeling that I do have though is much worse, and that is that karma will come back to bite me. I’m sexually addicted to a married woman and I don’t know how to end it. Each time I tell myself I’m done, she calls and just like that, I’m in her again. It also seems like recently I’ve run into her and her husband a little more than usual and each time we see in public when she is with her husband we pretend like we don’t know each other…. like we are total strangers. I look at him and feel like crap, because I know I could easily be in his shoes. From the outside he looks like he takes care of his business as a husband and father, and from all indication doesn’t seem to have outside babes.

But I’m just addicted to Bose’s body. The sex is incredible and in all honesty, I’m not ready to just let it go like that. But I feel like one day I’ll get caught in the act. I’m hooked, and even if I tried to stop, all it takes is her request and I’ll come running back. I need advice. Do I need to move? Do I need therapy? I feel like I know the right thing to do, but I can’t get myself to doing it. Any advice will help.

It Felt Good At Every Point In Time

“I hate you daddy!!!”…. “See what happens when I tell mummy”

I had just finished high school (here in naija, we call it secondary school) and puberty has had the best of me (asides the usual menstrual cramps, everything else was perfect…lovely set of boobs, nice cute ass to match, pimple free face, and I was the talk of the class) and unlike most of my friends, I was still a virgin. It’s not like I didn’t know what sex was (I read lots of mills & boom novels, seen a few porn videos) but I just felt I wasn’t ready yet (partly because my friends were bad at describing their very first time and partly because I didn’t like the shape God created the penis!) and I planned on keeping it that way for as long as possible – only to find out I’d still lose it to some guy three years later.

I have always been daddy’s girl. I loved him so much and told him almost everything and he would take me out from time to time and even named me princess. My mum would sometimes be jealous of our relationship (really she should have! For the right reasons) and would fight my dad for diverting all the attention to me and neglecting her and my siblings, but I didn’t care provided it was all about me (call me selfish huh?!). Moreover, I am the first girl in four generations of my family(that explains a lot huh?!). Well it was going rosy until this very day in September.

September it was, I remember it like it just happened, September 3 was a wet day and I had decided to stay indoors. The DSTV (satellite TV) won’t work because of the rain, I ran out of novels, my siblings were off to school, my mum was far away on a conference and I thought I might just be bored to death, then I remembered this porn that my friend Eunice lent me (what? I had to do something!). So I asked the gateman to put on the generator (did I mention that the electricity was off?) and amidst the chattering noise of the generator I inserted the disc into the DVD player (I remember the title was Star Wars: Attack of the Cocks) and was watching delightfully and next I knew, I got up, went to make sure the main door was locked, headed to the kitchen to get a bottle (I thought it was nothing compared to the light saber look-alike dildos they were using in the film). Immediately, I got in a very comfortable position on my dad’s favorite couch and began working on my most precious orifice. It felt too good and I went on for over thirty minutes ignoring everything else. I tilted my head backwards with my eyes closed as I climaxed and on opening my eyes (I wish I didn’t) I saw my dad leaning over the couch with his suit hanging from his left arm and ice cream on his right. OOPS!!!

It Ends Tonight

I walk into my living room and make my way slowly towards the bar. I fix myself a glass of Jack Daniel’s on the rocks. I sit down in the chair as I recall the event that happened at the restaurant. She broke up with me. I was shocked when the words came out of her mouth. She did not show any sign of not been happy with me. Yes, we fight like every couple but I thought we had a shot. She broke up with me and yet I did not feel any iota of disappointment. This is my 3rd failed relationship in the space of 3 years.

The women that have broken up with me in the past 3 years have complained about the same thing. I was not open enough and I was not letting my emotions show forth and I act like I am doing them a favour. Maybe they are right that I was not giving my best in the relationship. I might not be able to say the words they want to hear but they just have to realize that I am an onion at the moment and you have to peel me layer by layer before getting to the centre. I need time. I need time especially after what happened.

They all said I have not moved on. They all said I have not let go of the first woman I ever loved. They believed I was holding on and yes, they might have a point. If only they knew my secret. I told them all about the part where I lost her to a car accident. The part of me feeling responsible for her death is the part I leave out. How do I explain to them that I feel responsible for the accident?

I still remember like yesterday, five years ago when all we could talk about was our future. The number of kids we want to have, the kind of life we want to live and how happy a family we hoped to be. I threw all that away when I felt insecure about her married boss paying her a lot of attention. The gift he gave her on her birthday dwarfed mine and the jealousy just increased and I accused her of having an affair with him. She explained things that there was nothing happening and I did not even listen to her.

She came over that fateful night, she was about 45 minutes late. I had prepared dinner hoping we will talk over dinner and have make up sex. She apologized for coming late and that she had been stuck in a meeting with her boss. On hearing that, I just flared up, saying all sorts to her. She kept quiet through my rage and it just annoyed me more. She tried speaking when I stopped, I cut her off telling her it was over between us. I watched her as she broke down in tears and tried explaining herself to me. I did not listen and instead I walked her out of my house. She was trying to beg me but it all fell on deaf ears. I pushed her out of the house when she refused to leave.

My phone rang about two hours later, it was her. Why is she still calling? I picked up the call to ask her to stop calling. I heard a man’s voice on the line and he asked me to come to the hospital which he described to me. She been involved in an accident and he called me because my number was the last number dialed on her phone. I got to the hospital and I was taken straight to the morgue. She had died instantly from the impact of the collision with a stationary truck. I fell to my knees and tears just rolled out of my eyes. The doctor asked me if I was aware she was pregnant. Pregnant? I wailed like a baby. She was carrying a baby. A 3 weeks old baby. I had killed mother and child. I had driven both of them out of my house to their death all because I could not listen to her. My jealousy got the best of me.

The guilt still lives with me. How do I move on from that? The thought of it all sickens me and it weighs me down so bad that I just want to scream out to the world to help me but I cannot. I stand up from the chair and walk to the medicine cabinet in my room with my glass of drink still in my hand. Why am I still living ? I can no longer cope with this guilt. It is eating me alive. I get my sleeping pills from the cabinet. I am tired of living with this guilt. It ends tonight.

To be Continued ??

How important is Race/Nationality/ ethnic groups in Marriage

Marriage is hard no doubt, and there is not magic trick to having a perfect everlasting married life. I can’t say too much about marriage since I myself am not married. However, I’ve seen enough from the outside looking in to know that it’s not an easy road. A lot of times some of us try to weed out potential complications in our marriage by sticking to our  country men , religious, financial or social circles when looking for a life partner. My dad would tell me  “why go and give yourself extra problem  by marrying a Muslim from Turkey   when you’re a christian from  Egypt ? Which religion will your kids follow? How will you cope with her family and your cultural differences?” It’s a very understandable argument, but my reply most times refers to married couples that we both know, from the same country  that ended up not working out due to some issue or another.

These days talking to friends and associates, it seems to come up quite often. “ Asian  people do this”, “ Africans   are this”, “Latinos  are that”, and all that stuff, but do we really believe those things, or are these stereotypes that have been fed into our brains from childhood by parents, relatives and others in our community? Regardless of the answer, it is an interesting and important factor that governs most people’s decisions on a life partner, esp we africans, due to our close knit community, and family oriented lifestyle.

With all that being said, I ask the question – How important is Race/Nationality/Tribe in Marriage? Is your decision not to marry from a particular cultural background (or outside your background) influenced by your parents, or your community? Or is this solely a personal decision? Is cultural background insignificant in your decision?

 I’ve love to hear your thoughts, and concerns.

Approaching Men

Ladies, it’s 2012…what are your thoughts on approaching a man? Do you still sit back, cross your legs and act cute and hope that he’ll notice you batting your eyes at him? Or do you take matters into your own hands and step to him.

Guys, what do you think about ladies approaching you?

 Do you feel like the excitement of ‘the chase’ is gone when she does the work? Or are you excited by her boldness?

I ask because in this day and age, it appears that men have gotten lazy about ‘toasting’ and ‘chyking’ the ladies. I don’t know whether it’s because all of a sudden the ratio of women to men at events is like 20 women to 10 men, or because we ladies seem to have made this whole process easy for you…but lately it seems that you go to a social event and all the men are either posted up by the bar watching the women dance with their friends, or practically blending into the design of the wall. I mean guys, if you wanted to watch people dance maybe you should have just stayed home and watched ‘Dancing with the stars’ or ‘So you think you can dance’. But since it’s my first day on the J-O-B, I’ll be nice and try not to light into y’all cases as much. Teeheehee…

So therefore, due to this approach by the men…the ladies have decided to take matters into our own hands. I mean, can you blame us? With the whole wedding website explosion, we are seeing new sites pop up like every day and ultimately babes wan marry na. Sitting and crossing your legs in the corner obviously aint cutting it these days in the quest to have a bobo boo you up and put a ring on it. I see one or two of my ladies nodding in agreement.

But again, let’s not digress. Basically what I’m trying to say is that the men have gotten lazy and the ladies have gotten to be more proactive. Now we are approaching the guys, striking up conversation and walking away with numbers.

I hope that it won’t get to a stage where we will now have to be the ones to get down on one knee and pop the question to ol’ boys. I’m just saying…

Back to my question sha, ladies what are your thoughts on approaching a man?

Guys, what are your thoughts on being approached?

Let’s hear it!

GOOD’ woman How To Find a GOOD man?

WARNING! This article contains highly valuable material on finding a ‘GOOD’ man. If you are not a ‘GOOD’ woman, don’t ruin it for the rest of us. I urge you, please do not read further.  If you are a ‘GOOD’ woman, read on and enjoy 

The title almost suggests that there is a secret hidden place full of men in the world and if you’re ever so good, you might find yourself stumble upon such a place. Sadly, the closet place I can think of is a football match.

N.B Feeling slightly bitter over my last relationship, so do please allow a high level of male bashing.

So How? Where? Who?

First things first, why do you want a man? Evidence upon evidence suggests if you don’t love yourself first before getting into a relationship, you ruin it for the rest of us. How? Let’s break it down shall we?

Unloved (you) x Good guy =Typical Male Bastard x Unsuspecting innocent woman = Bitter unhappy woman (me)

Love yourself first. For the sake of womankind, you owe it to us and more importantly yourself.

Loving yourself includes having a busy social life and that means getting OUT of the house, meeting different people and having a jolly time while doing it.

Where are they? Ah… now that would be telling…no seriously…they’re everywhere! Look around you, guys are everywhere. Don’t discriminate places. Can’t count the amount of times I hear ‘You can’t find a good guy in a club’. Bullsh!t. Now, unless you’ve been attending Sadomasochism nightclubs, chances of finding a ‘good’ guy there are going to be a bit on the slim side aren’t they? Or maybe you believe in the mantra ‘good guys are in the church’….hahahaha…you’re more likely to actually find a ‘Bad’ guy there…why? Because you’re going to HAVE to forgive him 77 x77 times and which guy wouldn’t like to take advantage of that? Don’t go to the same old places, switch it up, and live a little. Guaranteed, you will meet someone.

Unless you’re psychic…

NB If you are, please contact me, we are going to make a ton of money!

You don’t know who you’re going to end up falling for, so give guys a chance because you never know. He may not look like Idris Elba or Denzel  but do you look like Beyonce or even Kelly for that matter?

Be approachable! Let your body do the talking! Smile, look happy… I don’t mean grin at every tom, dick and wale but show a smile once in a while.

Stop comparing guys! Chances are that they won’t meet your past standard anyway and no one likes to be compared.

N.B Do you hear that Mr Ex?…No one likes to be compared…NO ONE…KMT!

Anywhoo, unfortunately, they haven’t yet made the technology to spot a ‘good’ guy, so it’s really up to you. I believe it’s a good idea to date around and see who fits with you; some people may not feel comfortable with that. Understandable but in my experience, the people that wait around for the ‘good’ guy tend to wait for so long and end up falling for a very good impersonator of a ‘good’ guy like my ex.

I said ‘DATE’ around… not ‘SLEEP’ around, there is a difference…look it up!

Good guys aren’t that rare. If you think positive and don’t go out for the sole purpose of ‘I need to find a man’ because chances are you will get stickered with ‘desperate’ on your forehead. If you’re always looking like you’re having a ‘GOOD’ time, a ‘GOOD’ guy will always gravitate themselves towards you.

Look GOOD. Too many women I know, look like crap, yeah I said it. If you dress like you’re allergic to mirrors, then you can’t be helped. Appearance is a strong factor in getting a ‘good’ guy. Don’t fall short.

I hope this article can at least give you some useful pointers.