Shakira and Rihanna's steamy new music video

for SM readers

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only option left!!

If it had not been for God who was on our side, what would we have become? We thank Him for not allowing the enemy to make a mince meat of us.


I'm here again... This story really inspired me just like the other stories I have shared on here. Please enjoy and share your comments. Thank you all for always commenting and a big teddy-bear hug to my new followers! I love you all very much!


"A rich man had only one daughter. When the daughter was ready for marriage, the father sent news around town that all the eligible young men should come to compete in a test which would determine who was fit to marry his daughter.
On that day, all was set, all the able-bodied young men came out. Some came with paper and pen and others with cutlasses and swords.
The rich man took them to his swimming pool and addressed the men: “Any of you who can swim from one end of this swimming pool to the other would marry my daughter.
In addition, I‘ll give him 15million dollars, a car and a house so he and my daughter can start life well. I shall be waiting to meet my son-in-law at the other end. Good luck!”
As the young men, all very excited at the prospect of winning, started taking off their shirts, a helicopter came over the pool and dropped alligators and crocodiles into the pool. Immediately, all the men turned back and started wearing their shirts again. Disappointed, some of them said, ''That's crazy! lets see who would marry that girl, no one will'.
All of a sudden, they heard a splash in the pool. Everybody watched in amazement as one gentleman struggled his way across, avoiding the snakes and crocodiles.

Finally, he made it to the other side. The rich man could not believe it. He asked the young man to name anything he wanted but the man was still panting uncontrollably.
Finally, he got back to his senses and made a request saying, ''SHOW ME THE PERSON WHO PUSHED ME INSIDE THIS POOL!''
Moral: You don’t know what you are capable of doing, until you are PUSHED!!.
You can still make the most out of the rest of the YEAR. Sometimes it takes going through the bad moments to bring out the BEST in us.Trials are raw materials for Triumphant Testimonies...The push might take different dimensions: some people needed to be sacked before realizing their potentials and reaching their goals in life."
You enjoyed it didn't you? and you've been inspired, yes? same way I was...


My prayer is that, you and I will be pushed by GOD into greater heights. It's also my prayer that we will be pushed into that dream, that career that job offer, that business that we are too scared to try or venture into promptly!


Peace... I'm out!

John Legend - Made to Love

Check out my homie's short film EVOL

 A short Film Written Produced and Directed by Valentine Ebuetse a final year student  at Eastern Mediterranean University Northern Cyprus ...the movie questions the reality of love life and death in a time of pain...... ENJOY :)

Photos: When Butt Implant Goes Wrong!

This picture (above) was posted yesterday on Instagram by 50cent just for ladies to know that butt implants could be cool, but the side effects are tremendous. See more pics of butt implants gone wrong from google images

Passenger - Let Her Go AMAZING!!

Finding the Difference Between Attraction, Infatuation & Love

For me “love” is not a feeling but I’ll tell you what is. We live in a world that continuously affect our mindsets, influences our decisions, alters our motives and clearly muddle things up in some instances. The best lesson in life that offers clarity is “experience” ever heard of the phrase, experience is the best teacher? How about experience is the only teacher and you are the student.

For so long, I think my understanding of “love” has been miscalculated by various situations and scenarios, undoubtedly reading a lot of Mills and Boon and watching romantic movies did nothing but influence my ideologies on “love”. I hadn’t figured out why I felt butterflies in my tummy when I saw my primary school crush precisely at 9 years old or the sensational feeling almost like an “electric shiver” that ran through my body the first time he touched my head as a gesture of affection.

In a nutshell, that was my first ever experience of having a strong attraction for a boy. It was amazing in that I could not contain my excitement each time I saw him or heard his voice. All I felt was sweaty palms, increased heartbeats, wobbling stomach and worse of all a widely pasted grinned face. He was all I could think of and talk about; everyone knew I was into him. Although, I didn’t quite understand what it was I felt until much later, I knew this much, I liked the guy. I moved to the UK and it didn’t take me long to have another crush. To make matters worse, I was a daydreamer bordering on the obsessive.

I got into relationships with some dudes I didn’t find attractive. However, as time went on and we talked, laughed and shared moments, I got to like their personalities. I slowly began to develop feelings. I admit I said the “I love you” not because I meant or understood it but because that was the norm. It was what everybody said once you were in a committed relationship right? Despite all of the emotions the relationships still ended and we all moved on. I must admit though one of the relationships did hurt more than others. Slowly, my understanding on attraction and love began to form including how attraction is largely driven by emotions and how one’s views can be clouded by emotions.

Eventually with time and maturity I began to understand certain things. To start off, I experienced an intense attraction and short lived infatuation. All of these infatuations were made intense by the initial attraction I felt for the dudes to begin with. The more I thought about the feelings or why I liked them, the more I fed it and the more it grew. You all know whatever you feed, water or take care of in most cases will grow, take roots, take forms etc. To quit babbling, my experience with “love” was slowly being unravelled in my mind.

This is where am at with my understanding:

Attraction: Attraction in itself comes in different forms and it is experienced differently by all. However, all of the lovely sweet things I was experiencing with the dudes I liked and dated were mostly attraction that led to having feelings. This was even fuelled by the interaction, similarities, values and ideas we share. Obviously, the physical physique really does add a touch base to the whole thing. Needless to say, attraction is not love and love is not attraction. However, attraction is essential as it helps to aid closeness and intimacy. I also think that the longer the attraction the more it has potential to lead to “infatuation” and this is where it get interesting because infatuation can be closely linked or confused with “love”.

Infatuation: Infatuation itself I believe is stemmed from much more deeper attraction. It is the very foundation of some relationships and how far it went. When I think of infatuation I think of crushes, long term likes and equally obsession. Love is not obsessed, infatuation is. Think of it has having a new plant you constantly overfeed, over nurture basically over everything with it. Eventually, the plant will either not grow properly or wither away. In essence, infatuation has tendencies to overdo everything that can either make the other person feel suffocated or place unnecessary responsibilities on them again which can weigh anyone down mentally. Love on the other hand understands there is time for everything instead of constantly being obsessed, it understands the plant needs it own personal space and time to grow and be independent to an extent. Love is also selfless and intuitive in that when the plant needs it, it will know because it has taken time to study the plant etc. I think that “love” in general is less demanding, less needy and absolutely knows when to withdraw and reunite.

Love: What leads to love in a relationship and how do you know this is love? I think this will vary for each individual. Nonetheless, I know this much that love is not controlled by emotions rather our emotions are controlled by our feelings and our feelings sometimes control our judgments and actions. I think to “love” is influenced by a combination of factors but I do think “love” is a decision.

Unlike attraction, love is not instantaneous. I don’t believe people fall in love for the first time, I believe we grow to love and learn to based on life experiences, journey, moments, struggles and situations shared. Reading 1st Corinthian Ch 13 for the first time opened my eyes to a whole new different world and the meaning we all attach to “love”.

What is love when selfishness, injustice, unforgiveness, envy, malice and more abound even in relationships? Contrary to what we are told or see “love” carries a lot of responsibilities, accountabilities, demands, sacredness, trust, humility, knowledge and more. It is deeper than what meets the eye and it is the one thing I will not equate to feelings because I know my feelings are fleeting and are controlled by the desires of my heart. So when we say we want someone to love us we must first learn to show love to ourselves and others around us without expecting back. We must first practice it.

Unlike the movies and novels we read, we never get to share the reality of life with them. The reality of Cinderella living happily ever after yet the Prince can’t father a child? What if Snow White has an immune deficiency causing her to age a lot more?

Only through life experiences and situations will you and I understand what true “love” is. Yes, the understanding of this will become apparent once we find ourselves thinking less of our selfish needs and more of others. It will also become apparent when the butterflies are gone, the sweaty palms, daydreams etc are collecting dust instead reality takes over which challenges you and stretches you out of your comfort zone.

Yes, attraction can potentially be a base to develop feelings and for love to grow as sacrifices, true intentions and genuine concerns including intimacy (I’m not referring to sexual intimacy) begins to form and become the habit of both individuals. So next time you find yourself sweating palms, feeling shy… please know that this is nothing but attraction.

Are We Dating Or Not?

I jumped into a very inconveniencing taxi that hot afternoon in a hurry to meet up with my friend Sarah in Lekki all the way from Surulere. It was on that blessed 20th October 2012 afternoon and trust Lagos to be full of weddings happening at every event center. I was super excited when Sarah invited me to come as a handbag to a wedding. I didn’t know that marked the beginning of a beautiful journey with the most selfless man I have ever come across. He glitters only on the inside, so that makes him my own personal gold.

Throughout the ceremony, I didn’t notice him but was very certain that he noticed me and I could remember a certain person who struggled to get food and drinks served to us. As a foodie, I concentrated more on the small chops and not the hustler. Just at the time, I said to myself that ‘this is not the wedding to catch a husband’ and was hurrying out of the venue. Sarah drew my attention to a group of tall, handsome, drunk looking, not too young men. I got introduced, we conversed but no numbers were exchanged or even requested. Long story short, he actually told his friend to collect my number on his behalf (who does that really), that was how it began.

We hung out very often. He also complimented me a lot. He was my ideal man, tall, dark, big, handsome, intelligent, hardworking, respectful, humble, in charge (the boss), accommodating, perfect gentleman and all I could say was ‘thank you Lord for 20th October 2012’; but one big mistake that I made or I thought I made was he never officially asked me out. We just flowed and we had a lot in common and on one night he made a statement to me on how I was the girl he was dating and so that really checked box my assumption that I was on the right track dating the perfect man and having fun.

Like every relationship (or whatever it was) we had our downs and enjoyment times and well we were both mature adults so we handled every bit of it properly. Very caring man, willing to show you and try new things.He was a ladies’ man too as he had female friends but he never came out as a player, very reserved, always mingling with his very close guy friends.

Challenges started in December when I gave him a hamper as an Christmas gift, he appreciated it quite well, was surprised and grateful. He didn’t return the gesture with an exchange although I really didn’t mind, I would have loved a gift. December was a bit tricky because throughout the holiday I didn’t get to see him. Even though we live close to each other, he always gave an excuse of being in one state or the other and that time I was friends with a distant friend of his unbeknownst to him so anytime he said he was in Asaba, I would just trick my friend and get to know that he was actually in Lagos but I never wanted to stalk or surprise him.

I knew my guy was lying, I was bothered but also had my girlfriends occupying my mind with so much activity that holiday, I was even scheduled to travel but stayed back just to have fun with him but never for one day from 22nd December to January 2013 did I see him. I deleted my informant because I was tired of knowing the truth from him and hearing lies from my supposed man, so I just decided to assume he wasn’t lying but deep down, the trust was gone.

Before then, there had been so many lies. When he came back from London, he told me he landed in Abuja, and meanwhile he landed in Lagos. Cheap liar. How did I know? My source picked him from the airport and don’t worry he can never guess my source.

After the December drama, I actually stayed cool and always prayed that what is mine and would come to me, by then it was a new year. I was just living my life happily with no commitment but he was always sticking around as usual, (you know that whole thing when you try to get a girl’s attention, she becomes reluctant at first, then when she gives in, you all of a sudden start withdrawing) that was the definition of our relationship. If you say ‘he isn’t ready to commit’ then you are not far from the truth and if you also say ‘he is not that into me’, that maybe he just likes me as a friend – then I would close my eyes for a minute, take a deep breath, give you a tight hug and accept my fate because really you also must be very correct. That is why I decided to just do other things with my life and stay open minded and free.

Another episode happened during Valentine’s Day, we already talked a lot about it and I wasn’t even interested in buying anything for him at first, but most of our conversations stressed on the importance of showing love through gifts and since I liked him and wouldn’t mind, I made a last decision and planned for a surprise gift. This actually cost me some percentage of my January salary but since it’s all about giving, I didn’t mind. On that day, I started by sending SMS texts and gifts to my family, and then sent a SMS text to him, as his gift was going to be a late delivery. He called later in the day and asked how I was doing and then broke the news that he was in Asaba! I just ignored him and said ok. I played a smart move by calling his Lagos office directly, acted as a client, requested to transfer the call to him and who said hello? ‘Mr. Asaba’. I just made a short statement ‘I wanted to be sure it was your voice that I heard’ and bang.

Well, I ate the cake I already booked for him but I still sent him the other item because I couldn’t cancel and it was already delivered to him and it was a painting that only he could use. As usual I was a learner for the second time. Shockingly he still denied it was him I spoke to! He saw me that same weekend in a club with a colleague and was forming ownership asking for an explanation as why I was with some other guy in a club at that time of the night. I should have stayed at home and cried because my boyfriend didn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day with me and he lied for no reason.

My feelings switched off and I just liked him as a friend and learnt the hard way. We talked on and off, sometimes he would come so fast and so serious, then when you show a little attention, he disappears. All the festive days and holidays were always spent in Asaba according to him because ‘na him work pass’. I wondered if he had a girl he wanted to marry in that Asaba but he must have been really smart to be able to hide it although I don’t stalk. I thought to myself, maybe when I start digging, I will start finding, till then I’m still too young to chase a man. If you are dating me, it is a plus for you.

Fast forward to June 2013 which was his birthday, well I decided not to be a giver anymore. I shouldn’t be always giving especially when you are not an orphanage. So all I did was to celebrate him through BBM, text message and a call. He acknowledged it very well and as usual was in Asaba working on that day. Then came my birthday in July, he promised to send me a cake . Before I forget, he actually accused me of not giving him anything on his birthday. Guess what fellows? I didn’t get any cake and even the birthday call was late on that day, his excuse was that he was very busy. It didn’t make home girl get less than she deserved on her birthday from friends and family. May I add that the first time he actually visited and sat down in my house was when I was sick and off work, he came to visit, these are the kind of people that would buy you the most expensive casket and fly your corpse to your village but never gave you money to buy food and look beautiful when you were alive.

We are off now but good friends, call whenever you remember each other, no intimacy, no attachments, just casual friends, nothing more. I even told him to come let’s have a discussion and the guy came with his friend. Unserious 35 year old man, well I pray he would wake up one day and get committed – hopefully with me or with any other good girl out there. Till then I wish him well. You can share your thoughts on this or if you are going through something similar, how have you been able to deal with it?

May I add that the most interesting part of this story is that the guy just had his traditional wedding on Saturday 30th of November 2013 and of course without letting me know. Funny enough we spoke on the 28th of November and he seemed all normal and touchy. Wow, do I feel bad? I feel like cursing him but well I’m okay. I have been a side chick all this while but he did it so well that I would never have caught or doubted him. I wonder where the girl has been all this while, like I never noticed. Maybe she was abroad. Anyway, it all makes sense – why he wasn’t available at some notable dates and why he has been having issues. He is not still picking my calls till today. He is apparently dodging me. Well I wish him well and I know karma is a b***h. One more thing, being a nice girl doesn’t pay at all. Hope you can publish this story and I hope I find my man better than this devil in human clothing.

Morning Banter: That’s What Friends Are For

This time last year, I  was completely consumed by thoughts of Cancer. My 34 year old friend was dying and there was nothing I could do about it. On days when he did speak, I’d spend as long as I could talking to him and saying the most random stuff. Anything but this disease that was slowly taking him away from me. My prevalent prayer point was “Heal my friend, please ” I negotiated and calculated – if he’d lived for 2 years post diagnosis, surely he could make it through to the next year.

When he passed away in February, I was completely distraught. A few months after that, someone saw me sitting in the car outside the office with tears streaming down my face. Showing concern for my apparent distress, she enquired as to what the matter was. After several attempts to say I was just having a moment so I could be left alone, I finally broke and said I was mourning the loss of my friend.

“That your friend that passed 3 months ago?” I nodded in acquiescence. “Were you guys dating or something? Was he more than just a friend?”

That conversation has stayed with me because it was a jarring reminder that there are indeed several levels of friendships. There are ‘friends’ and there are ‘friends’. There are some friends that are there for having lunch at the office – “Who wants to order Yamarita from TFC? Let’s send John together so we can share the Okada fare“. There are some friends you’ve known from secondary school but you have gone your different ways. However, because of the length of time you’ve known them, they expect to be in charge of selling Aso-ebi at your wedding to your new friends from the gym.

There is also the friend that you can’t exist around without having your mutual friend to act as a buffer. You can’t exactly call the person your friend; but because both of you share a ‘besto,’ you find that you’re having cocktails every other week at Metisse on Etim Inyang – slowly building memories together.

Then, you have the friend who is your go-to-guy for how to get to some of Ikotun, and Alaba International. This friend is a walking map of the metropolis and is always up to discover new places. If you’re nice, he/she might even take you to that corner of Osapa London that you’re trying to reach.

You also have the friend that you can share the less-than-savoury- details of your life with. That boy who didn’t have a car but you went on a date with? The one your other ‘cool’ friends must not know you’ve been exchanging WhatsApp messages with. Yeap, that friend is the one you can share certain truths with.

There’s also the friend who is not afraid to tell you that although Ruby Woo is a shade of lipstick that is flying off the MAC shelves, it is not one that suits your skin tone. He/she is that friend who jokingly hides the play suit you have bought because he/she knows that your thighs are going to be ALL over the place if you wear them.

Then you have that friend who gets you. The one who calls every other day to ask if you’ve heard back from the scholarship board because she knows it’s the one thing that’s been giving you sleepless nights.

 think about your friends and the categories they fall into. Think about the friend that you are and the value your friends place on you. Are you that friend that can be called if there’s a flat tyre on 3rd mainland bridge after a long day at the office? You know that friend who has no qualms paying for your lunch because you’re who you are to him/her?

Call that friend today and let him/her know how much he/she means to you. Oh and please share some other categories of friends that I have missed out. Let’s have some fun this morning.

Have a lovely week ahead ....

Does this work with Nigerian girls

To please your lady, you have to go the extra mile.

PR Exec and former reality TV star Toni Payne kicks off the first episode of her podcast “Everything Toni Payne“.

The ex-wife of music star 9ice is dishing out advice for the men in 10 Romantic Things you can do for her.

Listen!

Here are Toni Payne’s 10 Romantic Things to do for Her
10-Full body massage
9-PDA (Public display of affection)
8-Romantic notes
7-Cuddling
6-A romantic getaway
5-Take a walk
4-Helping out around the house
3-Flowers & gifts
2-Be creative
1-Foreplay

Forget Nigerian men and their rants.....

 How many of them would go for a decent babe? See Nigerian men want all in one made person but they refuse to understand that an advantage you see on one side is a disadvantage on the other side. For example my crazy cousin came to me that he is in search of a decent girl that he will have a relationship with and eventually marry. He even warned me that he didn't want a materialistic babe. I obliged this boy and introduced him to a couple of my friends now see his excuse… 1. why does she not make up with all these fine things girls use? 2. Why does she not fix her nails? 3. She is always on braids, does she not like long hair? 4. All these your friends are too quiet, they dont club? and other orishirishi nonsense questions on top of different beautiful and hardworking babes. Imagine my frustration, then i decided to take him to a runs chick i attended the same sec school with imagine the instant attraction cos the babe was glittering and shimmering. I laughed in my heart, i gave him a parting warning ‘Make sure this one works” Nonsense! I suffice it to say that this is the mind set of majority of the Nigerian male specie. A babe is shimmering and shinning with a job that pays 50k, has her own house and carries Gucci bag and you think relationships are not business matters to her.. My friend park well. "

 Damilola Teidi

Your Wife Is A Co-Pilot, Not A Passenger! Skuki Peeshaun Tells The Men

Just five days ago Skuki advise women on how to stay happy in a marriage. Today he is talking about how the men can handle the home and how to treat their wives better.

8 Reasons Why You Should Have Sex In The Morning

1. Of chemistry and connection: Can you think of a better way to start the day? We cannot. They say your day turns out to be great if you start it on a good note. What can beat starting your day with an awesome orgasm? Experts have found that having sex in the morning releases oxytocin which makes you feel more connected with your partner.

2. Just a little bit longer: Do we even need to explain? We’d do anything to stay in bed a little longer every morning. And what can be better than a quickie? If you have a few extra minutes, you can even cuddle up with your partner without him snoring on you!
3. Guilt-free evenings: If you’re in a long-term relationship, we’re sure sex has taken a backseat in your life. How many times have you made an excuse about headaches and working late to avoid sex? Well, now you don’t have to feel bad about being too tired for sex at the end of the day. Having sex when you are perky as ever in the morning means you can use your evenings to cuddle or watch a film together.
4. Lazy sex allowed: You can totally get away with being lazy without offending your partner. Try the doggie-style or spooning position and let him do all the work. Plus, you have an excuse to look bad because you’ve just woken up.
5. Health booster: Research has found out that morning sex improves your immunity by boosting your IgA levels. IgA is an antibody that keeps infection at bay. So say goodbye to colds and flu with regular morning sex. Woot!
6. Time saver: Running late for work? How about jumping into the shower together and getting naughty? This will save your time and water! Make sure you hold onto something so you don’t slip.
7. Last longer: A man’s testosterone levels are highest in the morning after he’s rested and recharged after a good sleep. This means he’s the horniest in the morning and full of energy. Plus, him lasting longer means a guaranteed orgasm for you!
8. No more heart problems: Besides keeping you happy the whole day, morning sex also lessens the risk of a heart attack or stroke. With so many perks and health benefits, make sure you have sex in the morning at least thrice a week.

Peeshaun Of Skuki Fame Has A Message For Ladies

                           
Oh well, the singer just tweeted 10 things he believes all women should know either married or not