Sometimes, a good relationship can be ruined by mistrusting your girlfriend. But if you suspect she's cheating, the nagging suspicion can be almost impossible to ignore. Here's how to start figuring out if your fears are real.
EditSteps
- 1Take a step back. Before you do anything rash, take a moment to exhale and consider the situation. Ask yourself:
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everystudent.com- What makes you think she's cheating? Do you have hard evidence, or just a hunch?
- How trustworthy do you think your girlfriend is? Do you think she'd be capable of something like this?
- Has your girlfriend lied to you? Can you think of any instances when you haven't been sure she's telling the truth?
- Is she absent or unreachable for long periods of time? Does she bail out on your plans often?
- What makes you think she's cheating? Do you have hard evidence, or just a hunch?
- 2Observe. Watch how your girlfriend acts around you and other people. Do you notice any significant changes in her behavior, such as:
- Does she send you text messages or calls less often? If you start being the one to call or text her first all the time, that's a bad sign.
- Secret phone conversations. Does she leave the room every time she gets a call on her cell? Is she just trying to be polite? If she's trying to guard her conversations on the phone, there may be reason to worry.
- Distinct changes in appearance. If your girlfriend suddenly starts worrying a little more about her appearance, (new clothes, always clean shaven, spending more time in the mirror) she may be trying to look good for someone else. If she gets dressed up for you, that's one thing but if they seem to spend a little more time looking good to go out without you, you might want to look into that.
- Picking fights: Is your girlfriend picking fights and arguing more with you? This could just be an excuse to get out of the house. Picking a fight and then storming out of the house to get away from you is an easy way to go spend time with someone else.
- Lying: Catching her in a lie, no matter how small, is always cause for concern. Try to connect lies with certain time frames and you may have a connection to infidelity.
- Computer time: An increase in computer time may a sign you are being cheated on. There are many adult chat rooms out there that cater to infidelity.
- Friends behavioral change: If your friends seem to feel uncomfortable around you, they may know something that you don't. This is a classic sign that your girlfriend is cheating on you and you are the last to know.
- Accusing you: Another common sign you are being cheated on is that she constantly accuses you of the very same thing she is guilty of — cheating. She may drop hints that you are having an affair because her own guilt is starting to wear on her.
- Does she send you text messages or calls less often? If you start being the one to call or text her first all the time, that's a bad sign.
- 3Express affection and watch how she responds. These are signs that she might be thinking of cheating:
- Tell her you love her. Does she say it back?
- Hold her hand. Does she try to pull it away? Does she look nervous?
- Tell her you love her. Does she say it back?
- 4Look at her past. Like the old saying goes, "Once a cheater, always a cheater". Has she snuck around other boyfriends in the past? If so, then, she might already be comfortable with cheating.
- 5Be up-front with her. Tell her you have something on your mind, and ask if she has time to talk in a private space. Don't accuse her (such as, "I know you're cheating!"), but do express your feelings (like "I feel like you're losing interest in our relationship").
- Notice whether or not she gives you an answer. If she isn't cheating, she has no reason not to be straightforward and reassure you that everything is fine. If she is, she might talk in circles without really saying anything.
- If she becomes defensive or tries to turn the tables on you, this might be her guilt talking.
- Notice whether or not she gives you an answer. If she isn't cheating, she has no reason not to be straightforward and reassure you that everything is fine. If she is, she might talk in circles without really saying anything.
- 6Follow your gut. Sometimes, you just know things without having to second-guess yourself. No amount of crying and denial can rival the feelings you have in the pit of your stomach. After you've taken all the evidence into consideration, it's time to follow your intuition.
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