Gone are the days when people thought women were inherently squeamish about s*x. And good riddance. It’s so obvious, it seems silly to even say it, but women are every bit as interested in having s*x as men — and just as comfortable with the nitty gritty.
But sometimes, things happen during s*x that can take even the most sexually confident of us aback. There are sounds, and smells and feelings that make us stop and think … “Uh, what just happened?” “Is that normal?”
So we asked a team of s*x-health experts to spill: What are some typical things that happen to women during s*x, but that you never really hear people cop to or wonder about? And what, if anything, do they mean? Here’s what they said.
1. You’re Dry:
It’s very common for women to become (or stay) dry or irritated during s*x. In fact, roughly one-third of young women say they experience vaginal dryness. But lubrication is one of the keys to a pleasurable, comfortable s*xual encounter. The best way to get there, Good ol’ fashioned foreplay. Vibrators can help too.
If dryness is taking a more serious toll on your s*x life or making you uncomfortable throughout the day (which can be a particular problem as women age), make an appointment with your health care provider. Vaginal dryness affects many women, although they frequently don’t bring up the topic with their doctors.
2. You Have ‘The Moment’
No, not an climax, but that moment — seconds or minutes after s*x begins — when you just somehow know how the rest of the encounter is going to play out for you, good, bad or otherwise.
When it comes to s*x, women often start in a state of s*xual neutrality. Sometimes, you start engaging in s*xual activity and right away, you think, ‘This is going to work.
Other times, you sense that what’s coming next will be nice, or fun, but that you won’t quite get there. Women are pretty intuitive about whether they’re going to be able to achieve climax.
3. You Feel Like Peeing
If during certain s*xual positions, like doggie-style, you [have] a need-to-pee feeling, it’s completely normal. Those sensations are usually from G-spot stimulation, which can lead to female ejaculation. release comes out of the urethra and is clear and odorless.
That said, it is entirely possible — and not atypical — for women to pee and climax at the same time. Some women find they pee a little when they laugh, sneeze or climax, particularly after giving birth. It’s also easy to confuse the feeling of an impending climax with the urge to pee. Women who do not experience urinary incontinence at other times, but feel the urge to pee when approaching climax, may be getting confusing messages from very sensitive parts of their bodies. If fears about going to the bathroom during s*x are going to hold you back in any way, simply go before you get started.
4. You Scream
Sure, there’s often a performance aspect to screaming during s*x. A small 2011 study found that 66 percent moan during s*x to speed up their partner’s climax, while 87 percent did so to boost their partners’ self-esteem. But making noises can be a great way to be clear about what you want in bed, and “there are many women who need to be vocal to help themselves achieve climax. There is a difference between faking it like a screamer, and being in the moment and expressing how you’re feeling, which can increase sound. Some women are quiet during s*x, others are loud — it’s as simple as that.
5. You ‘Fart’
Vaginal flatulence is not actually the same thing as passing gas — it’s just air being released through the v**ina — but it does make a very similar sound. Dubbed “queefing,” it occurs when air gets trapped in the v**ina and while there isn’t really any way to prevent it, avoiding certain s*x positions may help, whereas switching positions several times may increase the chances of it happening. Better yet, just don’t sweat it. s*x can be awkward — we queef … bump body parts and miss the mark, It’s completely natural for it not to be seamless, and your best bet is to laugh it off and keep going.
6. You’re Distracted
Sometimes when you’re having s*x, you’re totally in the moment –incapable of thinking about anything else. Other times, you’re thinking about approximately 12 million other things. Women report that they’re pretty easily distracted by what is happening in their life. They wonder if something is wrong with them. Why am I thinking about that? Why am I not able to focus?
Sometimes, it is what it is. In other words, women shouldn’t beat themselves up if other elements of their lives creep into their bedroom. But if distraction becomes a frequent issue, there are mindfulness interventions women can try — most of which they practice on their own — that can make them feel more connected and focused.
7. You Get A Headache
A s*x headache is usually a dull ache in your head or neck that builds as s*xual excitement mounts, or it can be a more sudden pain, often accompanying climax. Most are nothing to worry about, but sudden-onset ones may be a sign of something more serious. In rare situations, some women have a severe headache at the time of intercourse, which is possibly related to changes in blood pressure. If you do have it, you’re not crazy, but do mention it to your healthcare provider.
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