There can be
little other news that is more devastating to man, than to discover that his
wife has cheated on him and has been having an affair with another man. The
very thought of another man séxually penetrating his wife, or his wife
enthusiastically giving oral séx to her new lover can make the jilted husband
feel sick to the stomach for days, even weeks on end.
Unfortunately, an increasing number of men have been contacting us here at The Modern Man, trying to seek answers to the questions, “Why did my wife have an affair? Why did she cheat on me? What causes women to have affairs? What did I do so wrong to deserve it? ” So, I’m going to share my advice here in a dedicated article on why women have affairs.
Unfortunately, an increasing number of men have been contacting us here at The Modern Man, trying to seek answers to the questions, “Why did my wife have an affair? Why did she cheat on me? What causes women to have affairs? What did I do so wrong to deserve it? ” So, I’m going to share my advice here in a dedicated article on why women have affairs.
The Rules of
the Game Have Changed
Relationships
are not like how they used to be in the early 1900s or even a few decades ago, for
that matter. Today’s women are constantly being bombarded with TV sitcoms and
Hollywood movies telling them that if they are unhappy, they should get a
divorce or have an affair. Unlike in the past, a woman isn’t surrounded by a
society that is telling her, or even forcing her to remain married no matter
what. A woman in 1900 for example, would feel like the “scum of the Earth” for
committing such a disloyal act as having an affair. However, when it comes to
women of today’s generation, unless her man is able to create and maintain the
right relationship dynamic, she will often act on what she believes to be valid
reasons for an affair and she will feel fairly comfortable doing it.
At The Modern
Man, we believe that if you get married, you should stay married. Marriage
isn’t something you “try,” it’s something you do for real. It’s for keeps. If
there are problems in your relationship, you should work to fix them rather
than giving up. In our opinion, affairs are never justifiable. If a
relationship is unrecoverable and you absolutely have to break up, both people
should, out of common decency, maturity and respect for each other, wait until
that is done before they find someone new. However, to avoid an affair or break
up even happening in the first place, here at The Modern Man we teach men how
to create and maintain the right relationship dynamic, so affairs never become
“necessary” for a woman. It is much easier to avoid an affair occurring in the
first place, than to try and save a devastated relationship after one has
happened.
Here are some
of the reasons why a woman will want to have an affair behind her husband’s
back.
Reason One: Arguments That Don’t Lead to Change
When
arguments become on-going between you and rarely a day passes without some degree
of emotional upset in your relationship, a woman is going to start thinking of
why she puts up with it. Women of past generations had to put up with it and
try to work through it, even if the husband responded badly and his behavior
got worse as a result. These days, if a man isn’t being the perfect man like
the ones depicted in TV sitcoms and movies, it has unfortunately become
socially acceptable for a woman to leave, or worse, have an affair behind his
back.
Men who are
successful in their relationships with women do not throw their hands up in the
air in the face of an argument or blame the woman for all the arguing. When
faced with a problem in life, a real man faces it head on and figures out how
to fix it. Things are not always going to run smoothly in a relationship every
hour and every day, but couples in successful relationships get through rough
patches by facing problems and looking for ways to fix them, not running away
and hiding from them. As a man, it’s your job to take the lead on fixing the
problem. If you don’t know how to fix it, learn.
Why do the
arguments happen in the first place? Read this article, “Why Am I Always
Arguing With My Girlfriend?” to understand what leads a woman to start
arguments with you and how to turn them into an opportunity to deepen your
love, attraction and respect for each other, rather than pushing you further
apart.
Reason Two: She Doesn’t Feel Sexy Around You Anymore
There are
some very sneaky men out there who prey on married women and women in long term
relationships. They live by the old old saying, “Show me a beautiful woman in a long-term relationship and I’ll show
you a man who is bored of having séx with her.” To protect your
relationship against these opportunistic men, you need to ensure that your
woman feels increasingly sexy around you. Most men are able to make their woman
feel séxy during the initial part of the relationship, where there is plenty of
romance and natural lust. However, as they progress through the stages of a
relationship, they are clueless as to how to retain that or build on it.
In The Modern
Relationship, I explain the secrets to not only maintaining the degree to which
your woman feels sexy around you, but how to increase it. When your woman feels
sexy around you, she is going to be more open to sex and to doing “sexual favors”
for you, if you know what I mean. Making her feel sexy and sexually confident
around you, also means that she will continually make an effort to look good
for you. You’ll find that she wears sexier clothes, makes more of an effort to
stay in shape and is generally much more fun to have sex with.
Reason Three: Bad Séx or Lack of Séx
Once again,
most guys are able to please their woman fairly well during the initial stages
of a relationship. However, once familiarity has set in and they fail to
increase the degree to which a woman feels séxy around them, the séx can become
boring and predictable. The secret to avoiding this is to make your woman see
you as her “séx god,” so to speak. To her, no other man is necessary because to
be séxed by you touches her and satisfies her on the deepest levels of her
being.
Now, don’t
get me wrong here. I’m not talking about spending loads of hours on tantric
séx, or any other “Sensitive New Age Guy” rubbish like that. I’m talking about
deeply penetrating your woman’s body and mind as you have sex with her, without
needing to spend time on foreplay or doing unnecessary things like dressing up
and role playing. You don’t need any of that when you know how to deeply
penetrate her body and mind during séx. It doesn’t matter if you do it for 5
minutes or 30 minutes; when you séx a woman right, she will be the best girl
you’ve ever had in your life. You tell her to make you a coffee and she will
jump at the opportunity to please you. Tell her to give you oral séx while you
watch TV and she will feel LUCKY to be doing it.
However, if
the séx is boring or if there is a lack of pleasurable séx, modern women
(especially those who watch TV sitcoms that glamorize affairs and divorce,
rather than condemning it) will often start thinking that maybe an “exciting
affair” will liven up their life again. Unfortunately, when a woman consults
with her friends, they will often encourage it and even help make it happen.
The best strategy to protect your relationship in the modern world, is to become
the type of man that women desperately want to be with. You can no longer just
be an “okay option” or maintain a boring, séxless relationship. If the woman
isn’t feeling fulfilled, she is more likely to have affair or just up and leave
you.
So, how do you
create the right relationship dynamic and how do you penetrate a woman’s body
AND mind during séx? It’s about being a masculine man, being present and making
her feel like a feminine woman. Watch Better Than a Bad Boy to learn how. When
you have séx with women in the way I suggest, you will be amazed at how much
good treatment you’ve been missing out on from women. The truth is, a woman
WANTS to be in a position in the relationship where she feels lucky to be
having séx with you. If you don’t give her that gift and make her feel lucky
like that, you’re leaving her wide open to being preyed on by men who seek out
unhappy women for easy séx.
Reason Four: Lack of Excitement
One of the
traits that women find most attractive in men is unpredictability. I’m not
referring to wild unpredictability where you do crazy or dangerous things, I’m
talking about interesting unpredictability where you are not boring! I teach
guys how to be unpredictable when talking to women for the first time, on the
phone and on dates in The Flow and I explain how to do it in a relationship in
The Modern Relationship.
All
relationships go through stages and there can be no doubt that the early stages
of infatuation with one another make everything about the relationship feel
extremely exciting. It can feel fun and exciting to be even sitting together on
the couch, cuddled up and watching TV…but, after a while it will stop feeling
fun if you don’t maintain and grow the love and attraction you feel for each
other. As the relationship grows, the “love rush” of the early days is replaced
with a different kind of emotional connection and this is when some women can
slip into thinking that something is missing in the relationship. An affair is
then used as a way of finding out if the something that’s missing can be found
in someone else.
Reason Five: You’re Not Being a Man For Her
Let’s face
it; if a woman is extremely happy in her relationship with her man, she’s not
going to be interested in having an affair. Generally speaking, a woman will seek
to have an affair when she isn’t happy and thinks that another man will provide
the happiness she is lacking. As you may know, we are each responsible for our
own feelings of happiness and shouldn’t solely rely on another person (or
people) to make us happy. Much of it has to come from within, from our purpose
in life, the love we share with others and our perception of the world around
us. However, you can’t rely on a woman to know that and live by it. Your woman
may think that happiness is found in a man, in buying shoes and in eating cake,
who knows!
As a man, you
need to take personal responsibility for the relationship you have with your
woman. You can literally guide her into happiness, love and total surrender to
you by being a man for her. The more of a man you are and the more you guide
her into being a true, feminine woman, the happier both of you will be. These
days, a lot of men unknowingly guide their women into depression, unhappiness
and lack of desire because they simply don’t understand how to “be the man” in
a relationship.
Men and Women Have Changed, But Are Still the Same
Although
modern women have become more confident, independent and in a way, more
masculine in their behavior and thinking due to entering the workforce and
taking on bigger roles, changing attitudes in society and the after effects of
the feminist movement – women still want you to be a man. Women are not the new
men, they just have more voice, choice and freedom. Deep down, under the
superficial layer of masculinity they have to put on to survive in the modern
world, they are still just girls…and want to be treated that way behind closed
doors.
These days,
most men are unsure how to behave around the confident, new aged women and
unfortunately, they end up looking to TV for the answers. However, when a
modern man watches TV, he’ll often see TV commercials where husbands are
depicted as clumsy, sex-starved idiots who are trying to do whatever they can
to please their wife, who always seems to be on the verge of hitting him across
the head with something. Why do they show this stuff on advertisements? Well,
they can’t have men treating women that way, can they?
Companies
advertising their products cannot depict women as wanting to be bent over the
couch by their husband, as a reward for her doing the housework or cooking a
good meal. Yet, the truth is, women do want to be in a position where they are
rewarded for their good behavior. The better they behave and the more they
please you, the more of your attention, love and sex they will get. That’s what
women want. Yet, if you believe what you see on TV commercials, you’ll end up
thinking that you will get more sex, love and respect from your woman if you do
the housework and stay out of her way…or else she’ll get mad!
If you want
to get a real education on how to be a man, watch Better Than a Bad Boy. Trying
to learn how to be a man by watching TV sitcoms, Hollywood movies and the odd
TV commercial is only going to cause you more confusion, frustration and
problems now and in the long run. If you don’t want to invest years of your
life and loads of your time and money into a relationship, only to have a woman
turn around one day and say, “I
need to tell you something. I’ve been having an affair. I am in love with
another man” then get educated and enjoy a relationship the way it
should be enjoyed. That being, where the love, respect and attraction you feel
for each other GROWS rather than fades away into arguments, infidelity and
divorce.
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