I have been
married for the past 9 yrs, I'm blessed with 3 kids (2boys and a girl) and I
have the most amazing hubby... I'm trying to correct the notion that all
marriages are wacky and all because that's not true. It wouldn't be nice if
some single girls out there don't get to know that marriages can work if u make
it happen.
I got married 9yrs ago to my
hubby, we dated for a year and got married..
My friends were like it was too
soon since we barely know our selves, I was staying in Abuja while him in
Lagos. I just come occasionally to visit him, so after a year, we figured it
was time to move to the next level which was very amazing...
We got married and
I started living the life of a married woman..
We loved each other so much but their were things we did not know about
each other since it was long distance hence posed a problem for us..
I had very
bad mouth as of that time.. I do like to challenge everyone including him which
he didn't like.. We argued a lot which ends up with several beatings..
The first time my hubby hit me, I ran to my
aunt's place and later went back home, it happened again and again, but the
whole thing was after the beatings, he comes back to say sorry and to tell me
how the things I said to him really did hurt and how he's hot tempered and I'm
hot tempered and all... After a year, I told my self I had to work on my self,
I stopped talking too much, prayed more often and asked God to help me with my
temper, I stopped challenging him and always make him feel more than superior
to me, like magic, the whole fighting stopped.
I took in and gave birth to our twin boys the second year. I was so
engrossed with taking care of the babies that I forgot to give my hubby the
attention he deserved... When my babies were 5 month old, I went through my
hubby's fone for the first time and I found out he was cheating on me.. The
girl in question was supposed to be a family friend but she started sleeping
with my husband.. I went thru the whole
bbm chat and saw the way the girl started flirting with my hubby and how he
tried to resist and how he finally fell for her tricks, I was mad, I was raged
but at the same time I was determined to be calmed about the whole thing.. I
didn't mention it to him when he came to pick up his fone cos I would have
insulted him and said so many hurtful things to him, so I pretended like I saw
nothing..
The next day, I started jogging with some neighbours, after 2weeks I
got a treadmill and started using at home.. I was still running in the morning
and using the treadmill at night.. After 3 months, I lost the whole baby fat
coming back to 60kg which was my initial weight.. I didn't give up, I kept trying
to look fit and everything.. One night,
my hubby came to me saying we needed to talk, I was like hope there is no
problem? He said there is! And I was like lemme hear it. He then opened up to
me about his affairs with that girl..
Told me everything that happened, even
went ahead to show me the whole chat and how he ended it with the girl and how
she's still calling back and begging for more. Of course she was gonna beg for
more,my hubby is well endowed and gifted(LoL). He was crying and apologising but
I told him he shouldn't worry,that it was all my fault,I forgot about him and
he saw attention some where else..
We made up and after 2 days,he got me a car
out of guilt but I told him to stop worrying but I still liked the fact that he
got me the car,it was my dream car. We
started enjoying our lives the way it was before; going to the movies, club,
hanging out, I gave him all my attention. Even after I gave birth to my baby
girl 3yrs later, he didn't cheat on me bcos I made sure I didn't stop been a mother,
a wife, lover and friend. As usual, I started exercising again and went back to
my body 4months after my baby was born. We were so blessed, work was going
fine, home was fine.
Now when I say
"Home was fine" it didn't mean we were not quarreling, we were but I
just made sure if I was gonna quarrel about anything, it was gonna be something
worth it and I tried as much as possible not to be harsh or rude.. There was a time we quarrelled and couldn't
reconcile immediately like usual and I went out to tell a male friend of mine
not knowing that was the last thing I should be doing. The guy was advising me
and I felt he was nice.
One day, the same talk came up between me and my hubby,
when we couldn't reconcile, I drove of to that guy's house.. He
consoled me and started kissing me.. I was kissing him back and it suddenly
dawned on me, he's not my husband, I couldn't do that to my hubby, I pushed him
off and drove back home.
I told my hubby
he won and told him how I kissed someone else and he told me he understands, so
we'd drop the case even if I was right, deleted the guy as a friend and worked
on my marriage.. Since then,we don't stay mad at each other more than 10mins..My friends come to the house and they are like, I envy ur marriage, that we still
act as newly weds and all, but what they don't know is its not easy getting ur
family 2geda.
Its so hard been a
friend, lover, best friend, mistress, mother, wife, sister all in one.. I'm
from a broken home so I know what I and my sister went thru and I didn't want
that for my kids.. So I had to fight to make my home work. I got married when I
was 18 and right now 27, but when u see me I look 24, people never believe I'm
27 or a mother cos I made sure I kept my self looking good.. My hubby doesn't
like the whole idea of wrapper or anything so I don't have one except for
meetings. I dress in my bum shorts, mini skirts, short dresses, anything to
keep me looking good
So at this point
I'm going to say, ladies:
1. Marriage is not easy
2. Don't go into marriage
expecting so much
3. Don't think ur marriage would not have problems, they will
always have, what makes u a woman is the ability to handle it
4. Make ur
partner ur friend, best friend, lover, wife, mistress, mother, sister. With
that, he can open up to u all the time
5. Never loose urself because u are
married, he loved what he saw that's why he married u, try not to go away from
that
6. Never share ur problems with anyone, u would get the wrong advice from
people, handle ur problems within
7. Do not argue with ur hubby, let him win if
u see its gonna pose as a problem
8. For ladies with sharp mouth, trim it,
that's the one thing men hate, it took me time to learn, so please and please,
never challenge ur hubby, cos it would make him feel he's not in control and
men like feeling they are in control even when actually, its the women who are
in control
9. Talk to him all the time, appreciate anything he does and
encourage him
10. Don't forget to make God ur number one.. Don't joke with
prayers, it never fails
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